


What the Heart Wants

by Lulubellamo3



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Choking, Cock Tease, Daddy Kink, Daryl Dixon Smut, Dom Negan (Walking Dead), Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Hurt Daryl Dixon, Hurt Rick, Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Jealous Rick, Loss of Virginity, Merle Dixon Being an Asshole, Merle Dixon Lives, Negan Smut (Walking Dead), Negan Smut Week (Walking Dead), Oral Sex, Original Character(s), POV Negan (Walking Dead), Polyamorous Character, Polygamy, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Rick, Protective Daryl Dixon, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Rick, Rick Being an Asshole, Rough Body Play, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Shameless Smut, Smut, Spanking, Strip Tease, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Teacher-Student Relationship, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:23:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21048611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulubellamo3/pseuds/Lulubellamo3
Summary: You've just started college and you find yourself drawn to one of your teachers: Professor Rick Grimes. You embark upon a steamy affair, but things get complicated when you meet Rick's best friend, Negan, who just so happens to be starting at the college as a professor too.





	1. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's your first day at college, and you find yourself drawn to one of your professors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in an alternate universe where Rick and Negan are friends (shock, horror), but they're very much the same kind of characters as in TWD, just Negan isn't evil. This will be absolutely full of smut - I hope you enjoy :)

You join the huddle of babbling students waiting outside the lecture hall, your best and oldest friend stuck close by your side. You don’t know what you’d do without him. He’s been in your life since you were a kid and he’s practically your brother, despite him being much older than you. He has no interest in college but when you’d told him you’d got in, he decided to come with you. With no family ties and a job he could take anywhere he went, it was like a dream come true for both of you. Now he lives only two blocks away from campus and has just set up his own workshop where he repairs motorbikes. 

‘You ready for this, kid?’ He says in his usual gruff voice, although the concern is always real behind the growl.

‘Hell yeah! This is going to be amazing!’ You say excitedly, throwing your arms around him and pulling him in for a big hug. He squeezes you briefly but drops his arms before you do, embarrassed by the display of affection and the looks it’s drawing. You give him a quick peck on the cheek just to wind him up further, and giggle at the slight blush on his face. 

He presents such a hard exterior to the rest of the world but he’d always had a soft spot for you, ever since you were little and moved into the house next door to his. Curiosity had drawn you to his yard when you’d heard the rumbling sound of a motorbike and he’d caught you trying to clamber on top of it, quickly pulling you away before the thing had nearly fallen on top of you. Since then he’d looked out for you, and when your parents had died just as you’d entered your teen years, he’d taken you in and he became your whole family.

‘C’mon now, you don’t wanna be late on your first day,’ says Daryl, gently prising you off of him. You look over your shoulder to see everyone slowly filtering into the hall. He slaps you on the back and gives you his signature nod with a half attempt at a smile that indicates he’s going to miss you, before he walks away.

‘Can I swing by your workshop after school?’ You shout after him.

‘Sure, see ya later,’ he says in a low growl, uncomfortable with the stares his rough, oil-stained appearance is attracting from a group of students passing by. He rarely changes out of the clothes he wears when working on his bikes, and his long, shaggy hair and muscular figure give him a slightly dangerous look that’s out of place almost everywhere but his workshop. Just as you’re about to follow the last person into the lecture hall, Daryl turns around and calls back to you, ‘and Y/N… good luck. Hope you have a good first day, darlin’.’

You watch him disappear before heading into the lecture hall, immediately cursing yourself as you’re suddenly the last one in and nearly all the seats are taken. The only free seat you spot is at the front of the room, directly in front of the professor’s podium. With butterflies now raging in your stomach, you make your way over to it, trying to conceal your blush with your hair, and sit down just in time for the professor to enter.

Your jaw drops. A tall man with dark, wavy hair and astonishingly blue eyes comes to stand by the podium, just a few feet from you. His trimmed salt-and-pepper beard and strong features make the guys you’ve fancied in the past look like boys. His dark blue-grey shirt and black pants cling tightly to his discretely muscular figure. Your eyes roam unashamedly over his body, and as you look back up to his face he catches your eye, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. You turn a deep shade of red and hastily look down at your hands resting on the fold-out table attached to your chair. 

‘Hi everybody, I’m Professor Rick Grimes,’ he says, a delicious Southern accent to his deep voice. ‘But you can jus’ go ahead an’ call me Rick.’

You spend the next hour watching Rick from beneath your eyelashes, keeping your head bowed over your notes as much as possible. He exudes a subtle strength and charisma you find incredibly alluring; he isn’t cocky or obnoxious, but he’s confident, intelligent, and of course ridiculously attractive. Your heart pounds loudly in your ears for the entire lesson and by the end of the hour you’re finding it difficult to sit still, a combination of nerves and an excited energy you’ve never felt before rushing through your body like electricity as your mind races through a hundred scenarios involving you finding yourself alone with him. 

When the bell finally rings announcing the end of class, you’re the first out of your chair, desperate to escape the tension that’s been building inside you for the last hour. In your flustered haste you drop your open bag and manage to send its entire contents flying across the floor. Cursing a little too audibly under you breath, you reach down and start collecting it up as quickly as you can. 

‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,’ comes a deep voice in your ear. You jump, almost tripping over your feet as you see Rick crouching beside you, close enough for the smell of his cologne to start fogging your head. He does his best to conceal the amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, drawing your eyes to his lips. 

‘I’m assuming you want this back, right?’ He says with the hint of a chuckle hiding behind his tone. You try to snap out of your haze as you see him holding the contents of your bag in his arms. 

‘Y-yes please, sir,’ you stammer breathily, internally kicking yourself for blushing so furiously at your blunder. Wanting to get out of there as fast as possible, you avoid Rick’s eye as you take your things from him and shove them unceremoniously into your bag, turn on your heel and head hurriedly towards the door. But somehow he’s there before you, standing in the doorway holding it open.

‘Hey, what’s your name?’ He asks just as you reach the doorway. You’re intensely aware of his proximity to you; you can feel his breath on your hair as he looks at you, waiting for an answer, his arm stretched out holding the door only tightening his shirt across his chest. You try in vain to calm your uneven breathing, terrified that he’ll hear the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

‘I-I’m Y/N,’ you mumble, avoiding his gaze as you sense him staring at you. You don’t wait to be dismissed and it takes everything in you to keep your shaking legs from tripping you up as you stride hastily away. 

‘Nice to meet you, Y/N!’ He calls after you, barely concealing the amusement in his voice. 

You can’t believe you’ve made such a fool of yourself in front of your professor on your _first day_. You make a promise to yourself to sit at the back and do your absolute best to ignore him in tomorrow’s class. Which, of course, will be impossible given that he’s the teacher. But you can’t afford to start crushing on him. You’ve never even been with a guy before, and an older man like him would of course have much more experience than you. He wouldn’t even give you a second thought. But that won’t stop you from fantasising about him.


	2. Daryl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your first day, you head to Daryl's workshop and you share in an evening of alcohol and Truth or Dare, and you see something in him you can't quite figure out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to write the next chapter, life's been pretty hectic recently! I'll try to update as quickly as possible - hope you enjoy :)

After college, you head straight to Daryl’s workshop. Half of you can’t wait to tell him about your professor, but the other half is still reeling in embarrassment from making such a fool of yourself. When you reach his house you see that the door to his garage is open. He has his back to you, crouching on the floor in front of a beaten-up Harley Davidson. 

You tiptoe as quietly as you can to the torn, scruffy couch by the door, next to the small fridge in which he keeps a constant stock of beer. You hesitantly open the fridge door and grab a bottle, careful not to make a sound. Then you flop yourself noisily onto the couch. Daryl doesn’t even flinch. 

‘What’s up, kiddo?’ He growls, not looking up from his work. 

‘How’d you know it was me?’ You say indignantly.

‘You’ve been tryin’ ta sneak up on me for the last decade. It ain’t gonna work,’ he says with a gruff chuckle. 

‘Damn your hunter’s hearing,’ you mutter under your breath, cracking open the beer. 

‘If you’re gonna steal ma beer you might as well get me one too, darlin’,’ Daryl says, getting to his feet and falling next to you on the couch. 

‘Get it yourself!’ You cry with a mischievous grin. He considers you for a moment.

‘Alrigh’ then,’ he says, grabbing the bottle straight from your hands just as you raise it to your lips. 

‘Hey!’ 

You try to grab it back but he holds it easily out of your reach. You dive across him for it but he pushes you back with a lazy flick of his hand. He takes a long sip of beer and smacks his lips appreciatively, smirking over at the affronted expression on your face.

‘That’s it,’ you snarl, rolling up your sleeves for dramatic effect. 

You launch yourself at him, straddling your legs over his lap and reaching to pull his arm down so you can reach the beer. But he’s much stronger than you and within moments he has both of your wrists trapped in the grasp of a single hand. You struggle against his grip but it’s useless, so you change tack and lift your leg up, trying to kick the bottle from his hand. You quickly lose balance and fall onto your back. Daryl jumps on you before you have a chance to escape, pinning your arms above your head with one hand and trapping your legs with his knees pressing into your thighs. You snarl at him, face flushed and half laughing and he smirks even wider, taking another sip of beer.

‘Mmmm, so good,’ he moans, rubbing it in your face. 

‘Fuck you,’ you spit at him, unable to conceal your grin. 

He raises his eyebrows at you, his eyes travelling over your body beneath him. Something flashes across your face but it’s gone so quickly you’re sure you imagined it. 

‘Okay kid, you can have it,’ Daryl growls, moving off of you to sit back down. 

You hesitate, certain it must be a trick, and sit up slowly, reaching your hand out expectantly. He moves to give it to you, then suddenly necks the whole lot before you even have time to register. 

‘Oh you dick!’ You cry, punching him as hard as you can on his shoulder as he laughs, handing you the now empty bottle. You ignore it and go to the fridge to grab another, downing it before he has a chance to steal it again.

‘Easy kid, you know you’re a fuckin’ lightweight,’ says Daryl gruffly, the concern in his voice you’d long associated with him since your childhood is tinged with an amusement.

You wonder how far you could push it tonight before he reprimanded you. You’re eighteen now, maybe not old enough to drink legally but certainly old enough to have some fun and deal with the consequences yourself.

‘I’m an adult now, _and _I’m at college! I’ve gotta learn how to handle my alcohol at some point before I go making huge mistakes with boys I barely know,’ you argue with a mischievous grin. Daryl tilts his head back slightly, surveying you with narrowed eyes through his long, scruffy hair. 

‘Alrigh’ girl, you’re on,’ he says gruffly. ‘But if we’re gonna be drinkin’, we’re gonna do it properly,’ he smirks, disappearing through the other door that leads into his house and returning a moment later with a pair of glasses and a bottle of whisky.

You set your empty bottle down on top of the fridge and hop excitedly onto the sofa, sitting cross-legged, watching eagerly as Daryl pours a glass of whisky and hands it to you. Without thinking, you take a long sip and come up coughing and retching, the strong taste burning your throat and invading your nose. 

‘Drink it _slowly_ you idiot!’ Daryl guffaws, setting down beside you and spreading his arm across the couch behind you. ‘You sip it. Savour it an’ make it last. An’ hold your breath so you don’t choke on the fumes.’

You approach with caution this time and take the smallest of sips with your breath held. It burns down your throat again but not so violently as before, leaving a pleasant warmth in your chest. 

‘Hey, this isn’t bad!’ You cry.

‘Take it slow kid, this stuff is fuckin’ strong,’ Daryl growls with a sly smirk. You ignore him and take another sip. Already your head begins to feel lighter. 

‘So I met this guy today…’ you blurt out, desperate to get it off of your chest.

‘Oh?’ Daryl grunts, taking another sip and watching you carefully.

‘You don’t have to look at me like that, I’m not going to pursue it,’ you say, rolling your eyes.

He’d always been incredibly protective of you, even more so when it came to guys. He always made the point that no one was good enough for you, even though you’d never so much as kissed a guy before.

‘He’s smart and interesting and, umm, really good-looking and…’ Daryl raises his eyebrows as you shift uncomfortably. ‘…he’s also my professor,’ you trail off into a mumble at the look on Daryl’s face. 

‘What’s his name?’ He growls in a low voice, breathing heavily all of a sudden. You notice his free hand is clenched into a fist at his side, his knuckles white with strain.

‘Rick Grimes,’ you mutter, eyes wide as you watch Daryl. You’d not seen him angry in a very long time, not since you’d come home crying after your school prom, having been ditched by your date for another girl. ‘He wasn’t flirty or anything, at least I don’t think he was. I think he found it quite funny cos’ I dropped all my stuff and got all flustered in front of him when he helped me pick it up…’

‘Don’t get involved, kid,’ Daryl says gruffly, his breathing easing and his tone slightly gentler than before, but his hand is still balled up in a tight fist. 

Without thinking you put your hand over it, stroking your thumb over his rough knuckles until he begins to relax. He looks at you with an odd expression on his face. The same care and concern he had always shown you, but also something that looked like longing.

‘I won’t,’ you reassure him with a small smile.

‘I just don’t wanna see you get hurt, kid. An older guy like that, in that position too… it ain’t gonna end well for you darlin’,’ Daryl says, his voice softening as he frees his hand from yours and throws his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug. 

You rest your head contentedly on his chest, feeling him bury his face momentarily in your hair before resting his cheek on your head. You both take another sip of whisky and for several long minutes you simply sit there in silence, breathing in his musky smell of engine oil, whisky and cologne. 

‘So we gettin’ drunk or what?’ Daryl says gruffly, finally breaking the silence. You sit up as he tops up your glass with more whisky. ‘To your first day at college,’ he says, chinking his glass with yours.

‘To my first day at college!’ You cry with a wide grin. 

You and Daryl spend the rest of the evening chatting, laughing and playing truth or dare, which had always been your favourite game to play as a kid. But with the lowered inhibitions brought to you by alcohol, it quickly became the most fun you’d ever had with him.

‘Truth,’ Daryl grunts.

‘Why is it,’ you say in a slurred voice, ‘that you’re still single? I mean, you’ve been single as long as I’ve known you!’ You exclaim with a giggle, slopping whisky down your front.

‘Smooth,’ he chuckles, gently stroking his thumb across your lips to wipe the whisky off before bringing it to his lips with a wink. You giggle even louder, a blush creeping up your cheeks as you punch him playfully on the shoulder.

‘C’mon, answer me,’ you demand, attempting a stern stare but unable to wipe the smile off of your face.

‘I dunno. I just never found anyone I fancied,’ he grumbles, not meeting your eyes.

‘Aww, are you embarrassed?’ You mock, tousling his hair in a deliberately patronising way.

‘Shut up,’ he growls, grabbing your hand and throwing it away from him. But a smirk plays at the corner of his lips so you know you haven’t crossed the line yet.

‘Why haven’t you found someone you fancied?’ You press him. 

He looks up at you with the same look as when you’d mentioned Rick, but the longing is definitely evident this time and you can’t put your finger on it.

‘There is this girl,’ he says gruffly, shifting uncomfortably as he looks down at his whisky glass. ‘But I can’t have her.’

‘Why not?’ You say, the laughter gone from your voice as you realise he’s being serious. He meets your eyes in a long, piercing stare, like he’s trying desperately to read your mind. 

‘Don’t matter,’ he mumbles, suddenly getting to his feet and grabbing the glass from your hand. ‘I’m tired. You’re welcome to crash on the couch in the house if you want. It’s too late for you to go walkin’ back now.’

You hesitate before following him through the door. You don’t say anything but you know you pushed him too far asking that question. For some reason the look he gave you makes your heart twinge, but you don’t know what it could possibly have meant. Daryl throws you a pillow and a blanket and retreats upstairs to his bedroom without another word. 

Mind racing, you make yourself comfortable on the couch in his living room, the liquor blurring your ability to concentrate properly on the questions running through your mind, trying to decipher what had just happened. Eventually sleep takes you and all thoughts of Daryl are washed from your mind by a wave of blissful nothingness.


	3. Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On your second day you make sure you sit at the back of your class in an attempt to avoid Rick, and you find yourself making a new friend, Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corrected a couple of mistakes I made in the previous chapter, hope you enjoy this one!

You wake up to a quiet house. The memory of last night comes flooding back to you and you sit up too quickly, your head suddenly spinning. You're surprised to discover that you don't feel too hungover, and inwardly thank Daryl for not letting you go overboard on the drinking last night. You might be a lightweight in as much that alcohol goes straight to your head, but it had never yet made you sick. Once the room stills, you quickly fold up the blanket and pillow and leave it in a neat pile on the couch. 

'Daryl!' You shout to the house, but you're met with silence. 

You assume he's in his workshop so you head to the garage, only to find it empty. Then you spot a piece of paper on the seat of the Harley he'd been working on yesterday. Snatching it up, you instantly recognise Daryl's scrawly handwriting.

_Just headed out to get some parts. Breakfast is on the table in the kitchen. Come round after school today, want to talk to you. Have a good one x_

Folding up the letter and placing it in your pocket, you head to the kitchen. A smile draws across your face when you spot the buttered croissant and bottle of your favourite mango smoothie on the table.

Glancing at the clock on the wall you suddenly spring into a panic. Class starts in 15 minutes and it's with Rick, so you desperately want to get there early enough to secure a backseat. But it's a 10 minute walk back to campus. 

You hastily grab the food, slip on your boots and your bag Daryl left for you by the table — probably knowing you'd wake up late — and run out of the door, pelting across the streets at full speed. When you finally reach the corridor outside the lecture hall, you're pleased to find only one person is stood waiting by the door, and you go to stand behind him.

Panting and sweating, you start wolfing down your breakfast, not wanting to give Rick an excuse to call you out for eating in class. The guy in front of you turns around, one eyebrow cocked upwards and an amused expression on his face. You realise you must look an absolute mess; you hadn't brushed your hair and you can feel stray strands of it clinging to your clammy face. You inwardly thank yourself that you don't usually wear make-up. What's more, your cheeks are currently stuffed like a hamster with croissant.

'Wha-?' You exclaim indignantly, accidentally spitting a bit of croissant from your mouth. It falls on the guy's cheek and you feel your face redden. He's extremely cute, with big brown eyes, stylishly messy, dirty blonde hair, and a kind face. 

'I know they say "sharing is caring" but I'm afraid I already ate,' he chuckles. 'But thanks!'

You swallow your mouthful noisily, blush deepening. 

'I'm so sorry,' you say, but you're half chuckling too. What a way to introduce yourself. 

'I've seen worse,' he winks with an amused but kind grin. 'I'm Jack. It’s nice to meet you and err, your breakfast,' he says, holding his hand out to you, his grin widening as he watches the embarrassment paint across your face.

'I'm Y/N, and I swear I'm normal,' you laugh, shaking his hand. 

His grip is strong, but warm and friendly and you find your hands lingering a little too long, until the sound of approaching footsteps from behind you brings you back to your surroundings.

Jack glances down at his watch. 'I reckon we can go in now, want to sit next to me? I haven't really made any friends yet so I'll take anyone at this point,' he says with another wink, making you giggle.

'I guess you seem alright,' you reply with a smirk. 'As long as we sit right at the back though. I kind of made a bad impression on the professor yesterday...'

Jack raises an eyebrow at you. 'You mean when you sent all your stuff flying across the floor in front of him? I thought that was deliberate...'

You shake your head vigorously, the blush returning to your cheeks. 

'Of course not! Why, do you think I fancy him or something?!' You exclaim, trying to sound insulted to hide your embarrassment at the suggestion behind his words.

'I was kinda hoping you don't, actually,' he grins before turning away and heading into the lecture hall. 

You stumble in after him, flustered and confused, and undeniably a little pleased at the direction this conversation was heading. This is the sort of guy you should be crushing on. Hopefully he'll be able to distract you from fantasies of Rick during the lecture.

But as you enter the hall, you see it isn't empty. Rick stands at the podium, reading something from a book perched on the stand. He looks up when he hears you come in, and an amused smile tugs at his lips as he sees the state you're in. You hastily look down at your feet and follow Jack to the back corner seats, then make a fuss out of getting your stuff out of your bag while the rest of the class filters in, blocking you from view.

'You okay? You look pretty flustered there,' Jack whispers next to you, making you jump. 'Are you still embarrassed about spitting food at me? Generally I like a girl to at least buy me a drink first, but I didn't mind that much,' he chuckles.

'Shut up,' you grin, punching his arm. 

You're quite surprised by how easy he is to get along with. Usually it takes you a lot longer to get comfortable with someone. Then again, you didn't usually start a friendship with someone by spitting food on their face.

'I hope we're not disturbing you back there,' comes Rick's voice from the front, as the entire class turns around in their seats to look at you and Jack. 

Your face burns and you meet Rick's eyes momentarily across the room. He looks at you with a disappointed expression and your stomach squirms uncomfortably. You drop your head and stare at your hands, but Jack perks up beside you.

'Sorry Professor. You were saying that today we'll be looking at the basic principles of quantum mechanics and it's impact on Einstein's theory of general relativity,' he chimes back unashamedly.

You gawp at him. You hadn't even noticed that the class had started and you had to admire his guts. You glance at Rick out of the corner of your eye. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw tight as he regards Jack, his eyes constantly flitting between the two of you sitting in the back corner together. After a moment he composes himself.

'Good,' he says with a sarcastic edge to his voice. 'Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get on with the lecture,' he says curtly.

You perch your elbows on the table and hide your face behind your hands, staring at Jack, who now scribbles furiously beside you as Rick starts talking.

'How did you know what he'd been saying while you were talking to me? I hadn't even noticed the lecture starting!' You whisper in a hushed voice.

Jack doesn't look up from his notes but you see his lips curve into a smile and he taps his nose enigmatically before pointing to you, then his ears, then to Rick at the front, motioning for you to listen. You glare at him. His eyes flick up from beneath his eyelashes to meet your stare briefly. He gives you a wink and flashes a row of perfect white teeth in a sly grin. You scowl back at him but can't help the smile tugging at your mouth as you turn to the blank paper in front of you and begin scribbling down everything Rick is saying. 

Meanwhile your imagination takes you off into a world of your own, but this time it features Jack. You resist the temptation to look up at Rick at any point in the lecture, and try to keep your mind from focusing too much on his deep voice as the memory of yesterday's encounter threatens to push it's way into your brain. Instead you allow the memory of your embarrassing introduction to the guy sitting next to you to swallow you up in a combination of shame and excitement.

You don't know Jack at all, maybe he flirts with everyone like that. You can't imagine why he'd be interested in you given then state you're in after leaving so late from Daryl's. 

Daryl! Now you're thinking about what it is he wants to talk to you about later. You wonder whether it has anything to do with the girl he mentioned last night, the one he said he couldn't have. Perhaps he's planning on doing something about it and wants to ask your advice. But then there was that look he gave you, that sad longing in his eyes, the anger when you'd told him about Rick...

You shake the thought from your head. It was utterly ludicrous - Daryl is family. You'd known each other for over a decade, and lived together for almost half of that. He's seen you in your worst states and you've always trusted him to be honest with you. It must be something else you couldn't figure out, maybe a nostalgia for when he was the biggest thing in your life. Now your life is moving on he’s probably worried that you would move on from him. You make a mental note to reassure him when you see him later on that he'll always be the most important person to you.


	4. Invitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack asks you to dinner but then Rick asks you to his office. Thinking you're in trouble, you're surprised to find he's got something else in mind.

‘So d’you fancy grabbing a bite to eat tonight?’ Jack asks you casually, both packing up your things at the end of class.

‘Umm, sure! Why not?’ You reply with a grin, trying to hide the excitement in your voice. 

‘Promise to keep your food in your mouth this time?’ He winks, nudging your shoulder with his as you make your way along the row of chairs to the door.

‘We’ll see,’ you wink back with a small giggle.

‘Y/N, can I see you for a moment?’ Rick suddenly calls across to you over the shuffle of students filtering out of class. You glance back at Jack, who looks at you with a slight crease between his eyes.

‘Shall we say 8 at the pizza place?’ He murmurs quietly enough for only you to hear. 

You give him the tiniest nod as he passes behind you to join the string of students leaving. Keeping your eyes to the floor, you head to the front of the class where Rick stands gathering papers into his arms.

‘Yes, sir?’ You mumble, not raising your eyes. You’d never been in trouble before, and your mind is racing trying to figure out what you could have done wrong. 

‘Come with me to my office,’ he says sternly in that delicious Southern accent. 

You keep your eyes on the back of his legs as you follow closely behind him out the class, through the crowded corridor and into a small but incredibly cosy office. A large wooden desk stands beneath the window which looks out into an orchard. On one side of the room the wall is lined with two enormous bookshelves. On the other sits a large, extremely comfortable-looking couch that could probably fit two people lying side-by-side across it.

Rick holds the door open for you, gesturing you to the chair in front of his desk. You drop your bag on the floor and perch yourself on the edge, crossing your legs and clasping your hands on your knees in front of you. Rick closes the door and you hear the click of a lock.

‘Do you know why I’ve brought you here, Y/N?’ Rick says in a low voice, resting against the desk in front of your chair. 

The scent of his cologne and his proximity send your heart racing. You keep your eyes fixed on a framed photograph of a pretty-looking woman with long, dark hair and a bright smile, hugging a young, freckled boy who looks a lot like her.

‘Have I done something wrong, sir?’ You ask in a small voice, shifting guiltily in your seat. When he doesn’t answer you glance up at him and find your eyes suddenly fixed by his bright blue stare. 

‘Far from it,’ he assures you with a smile, that same half-amused expression. 

‘I don’t know what you mean, sir?’ You say quietly. Something flashes across his face when you refer to him as ‘sir’ and he clears his throat, quickly recomposing himself.

‘I’ve had a look at some o’ your papers from your senior year at high school, they’re… brilliant,’ he smiles widely, flashing you a row of perfect white teeth, his blue eyes crinkling. ‘I feel like the firs’ year syllabus might not push you enough, and I assume you’re thinking of doin’ some graduate study after college?’ 

‘Umm, yeah maybe… I hadn’t really thought about it yet, but…’ You’re embarrassed to admit that you’d been thinking the first year work looked much easier than you’d expected. ‘But I do think there isn’t anywhere near enough detail in the first year course. I already, well… already know most of it just from the reading I did this summer…’ 

You blush and drop your eyes back to the photo of the boy and the woman. Rick gives a small chuckle at your embarrassment but then he goes quiet. You don’t tear your eyes away from the photo for fear of giving away the thoughts you’re hastily trying to suppress.

‘Her name was Lori,’ Rick says gently, following your gaze. ‘And his name was Carl,’ he mutters barely above a whisper, his voice suddenly hoarse. You look up in shock to see tears glistening in his eyes. ‘They’re gone now.’

‘I-I’m so sorry…’ you whisper, instinctively reaching towards his hand resting on the desk. Your brain catches up and stops you, but you can tell Rick had noticed.

‘Thank you,’ he says with a small smile, meeting your eyes. ‘Y/N umm… would you be up for havin’ some… extra lessons? Prepare you for grad work?’

‘Err would that not look like favouritism, sir?’ You mutter awkwardly, averting your gaze down to your hands again.

‘I’m allowed to mentor one student a year who… shows potential…’ he says, his expression split between embarrassment and amusement, leaving you completely perplexed as to what he’s thinking. 

You notice him shift along his desk slightly so his legs are almost touching yours. You breathe in sharply as your mind becomes an incomprehensible jumble. 

‘Okay,’ you breathe, your hands now gripping each other so tightly that your knuckles are white. All you can hope is that Rick doesn’t notice the blush creeping up your cheeks.

‘Good,’ he says with a heavy sigh that draws your gaze back to him. His eyes are squeezed shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

‘Are you okay?’ Your hand reaches the back of his before your brain has a chance to catch up this time. 

Horror and shame fills your stomach as Rick opens his eyes to meet yours. But he’s not angry. Instead he looks at you with an unmistakable desire that sends your heart into a frenzy. 

‘I’m s-so sorry,’ you whisper, dropping your hand to your lap and standing up quickly. 

You grab your bag and head for the door only to find it locked. Soft footsteps tell you Rick has followed you, and the sudden waft of his cologne says that he’s standing right behind you. 

‘Don’t be,’ he murmurs in a low voice that sends a shiver down your spine. 

You freeze, feelinh a hand lightly graze up your arm to your shoulder before gently moving your hair away to expose the side of your neck. Still unable to move, your breathing quick and your heart pounding in your chest, you let out a long sigh as Rick’s fingers trace ever so lightly up your neck and then back down to your collarbone. You can feel his hot breath playing on your flesh, goosebumps tingling in its wake. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, you gasp. Rick’s lips gently brush across your skin from your neck down across your collarbone before slowly tracing up to your ear. He takes the sensitive flesh of your earlobe between his lips with a gentle suck that sends a ripple of excitement rushing through your body. 

Rick’s hand travels slowly down your arm and finds your waist while the other pulls your hair back to reveal the back of your neck. His lips wander teasingly down and you can’t suppress the shudder that runs through you in response to his touch.

‘Sir…’ you breathe, your chest heaving and your legs beginning to tremble as the hand at your waist gradually dips beneath your shirt. 

His fingers trail lightly across your bare skin, moving around to your abdomen just above the line of your pants. Your skin seems to react as though you’ve been burned, but the sensation is so indescribably tantalising that you can’t help craving more.

You turn slowly around as Rick’s mouth finds your jawline, the tip of his tongue tracing along it until his lips come to hover over yours, his breath teasing them. You glance up at his eyes to see that they’re closed, a slight crease in his brow, his face so close to yours that you can feel his beard almost tickling your skin. 

Then he closes the gap between you and locks you in a deep, lingering kiss. He grabs your waist with both hands, pulling you into his body. You drop your bag and throw your arms around his neck, fingers entwining in his hair. Your mind blanks and a wave of adrenaline and fire courses through your veins as you fall deeper into the kiss.

‘Wait…’ he mutters, breathing heavily and pulling suddenly away from you. Resting his forehead on yours, his hands still on your waist, he sighs. ‘We can’t do this.’

‘But I want to,’ you whisper, gripping your fingers tighter in his hair and leaning in to kiss him again. 

His strong hands push you firmly away before releasing you. You feel an emptiness steal over you as he walks over to his desk, running his hands through his hair. 

‘Don’t you?’

He turns to look back at you, his struggle painted all over his face. 

‘You have no _idea _how much I want to,’ he breathes in a low voice. 

You step slowly towards him and he watches you with desire burning in his eyes as they travel unashamedly over your body. Standing inches away from him, you place a hand gently on his chest and lean around to put your lips against his ear.

‘Then why did you stop?’ You whisper. Rick breathes in sharply, his hands balling into fists at his side as he tries to resist the temptation to grab you again.

‘Not now… we can’t do this now,’ he says in a low, shaky voice, backing away from you before striding quickly towards the door. Unlocking it, he looks back at you, lust still blazing in his eyes. ‘Tomorrow after school, meet me here. Don’t tell anyone you’re comin’.’

You nod, your heart quickening again. You grab your bag and head out of the door into the now empty corridor.


	5. Intruder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You head back to Daryl's per his request, only to find an unwanted visitor.

Seeing that his garage is closed, you bang your fist loudly on Daryl’s front door.

‘Daryl where are you, you asshole, I have to be somewhere!’ You shout pointlessly at the clearly Daryl-free house. ‘You said to come round and you’re not fucking here!’ 

Then from around the corner you hear a roar you recognise immediately as Daryl’s motorbike. Within moments he comes into view and you run to the road to meet him, before stopping in your tracks when you find he’s not alone. Sitting behind him leaning back lazily with his hands resting on the back of the seat in his usual white vest and jeans, his face painted with an arrogant expression so unlike his brother’s, is Merle. As soon as the engine cuts out you confront Daryl.

‘What the fuck is he doing here?’ You growl through gritted teeth.

‘I see she ain’t changed much, brother,’ comes Merle’s salacious drool as the two of them slide off the motorbike. ‘Still got a mouth dirtier than a Mexican whorehouse.’

Your hands ball up into fists at your sides and it takes everything in you not to run at him and land a punch right in his smug face.

‘That’s ’nuff,’ Daryl snarls at his brother before approaching you with his arms raised.

‘He’s in some trouble, Y/N. I couldn’t say no,’ he explains, placing his rough hands on your shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze to calm you down. 

‘When is he not in fucking trouble? When you said to come round later I didn’t think I’d be rolling out the fucking welcome wagon for this _jerk_,’ you hiss, staring daggers at Merle now leaning casually against Daryl’s bike, watching you with a cocky grin. When you meet his eyes he tilts his head back and slowly licks his lips, his gaze roaming pointedly up and down your body. 

Pure hatred surges through you and you push roughly past Daryl, making a beeline for Merle and raising your fist to aim straight for his nose. But he’s too quick for you. He blocks your punch effortlessly and grabs your wrist, twisting your arm painfully behind your back and pushing you over the seat of the motorcycle as he leans over you from behind, his breath on your neck.

‘Aw I jus’ make you all hot under the collar, don’t I sweethear’?’ He coos. The smell of alcohol on his breath makes your stomach churn. 

Then his grip is suddenly gone. You look around confusedly to find him trapped in a headlock, Daryl’s muscular arms wrapped tightly around his brother’s throat. He throws him to the ground and plants a boot in his gut. Merle gets quickly to his feet again, spluttering and massaging his neck, but he doesn’t retaliate. He looks between your shocked expression and Daryl’s defensive stance in front of you, tensed like a predator preparing to go in for the kill. A nasty grin spreads across Merle’ face.

‘Ahhh, I see what’s goin’ on here. Now she’s old enough…’ he chuckles, pointing from Daryl to you. 

Confusion momentarily overtakes your anger as you look from Merle’s mischievous smirk to Daryl’s enraged expression. You step quickly in front of him, blocking Merle from his view and trying to focus his attention back onto you to calm him down. As much as you’d love to see Merle get the seven shades of shit knocked out of him, you know Daryl would hate himself for hurting his own brother. 

‘It’s okay, don’t listen to him,’ you say as soothingly as you can, placing a consoling hand gently on Daryl’s cheek and giving him a small smile. ‘He’s just trying to wind you up ’cos you knocked his pathetic ass to the ground.’

Daryl meets your gaze and behind the anger is… there’s no mistaking it this time. Pain. Your smile falters as the implication behind Merle’s words sinks in and the look in Daryl’s eyes tells you there might be more truth to them than you would ever dare to think.

‘I-I’ve got to go,’ you mutter suddenly, quickly dropping your hand to your side and taking a step back. 

Daryl reaches for you, opening his mouth to say something, but you walk straight past him. Without so much as a glance at either of them, you retrieve your bag from where you’d left it in front of the garage door and start making your way back to your dorm, where you have to go and get yourself ready to meet Jack. But your mind couldn’t be further from Jack right now as a hundred questions race through your mind. What on earth just happened?


	6. Questions and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Jack as planned but you're distracted by the appearance of two men: your professor and a tall, dark-haired man in a leather jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan has arrived! Sorry the last chapter was so short and that it's been a while since I updated! This is setting up for the wealth of smut and drama soon to follow - hope you enjoy! :)

‘There you are!’ Cries Jack, sitting on the wall outside the restaurant waiting for you. 

You arrive windswept and panting just like this morning outside the lecture hall. Strands of hair are flailing about your face in the breeze. The bun you’d spent ages working on is now loose and messy, and you were having to hold down the end of your pale blue summer dress to stop it riding up as you ran barefoot down the streets, clutching your heels in your free hand with your purse tucked down the front of your dress in your bra. 

Top that off with your flushed face and lack of make-up (you’d had no time by the time you’d finished your hair), you couldn’t look in a worse state for a date. If that’s even what this is meant to be. Not to mention that your head is full of Daryl and Rick, when the person you should be focusing on is the cute guy who’s _your _age, standing before you in a suit, his brown eyes wide as they trail over your dishevelled form.

‘What the hell happened?!’ Jack chuckles, trying in vain to keep a straight face as you fish your purse out of your bra and step into your heels.

‘I… got held up…’ you pant, resting against the wall he’d just been sitting on. ‘Didn’t have… much time… to get ready…’

‘Well it’s only _just _gone 8:30,’ he teases, glancing at his watch and shaking his head dramatically. ‘So I’ll just have to remember for next time that you’re one of those “fashionably late” kinda girls,’ he finishes with a wink.

‘No!’ You cry. ‘I’m really not, I’m always on time I swear!’

‘So far the evidence isn’t in your favour, Y/N,’ he says, flashing you a row of white teeth.

‘Oh shut up, you don’t know me at all,’ you bite back, unable to stop yourself from grinning back at him. His smile is infectious. ‘Wait… are you suggesting there’ll be a next time?’

Jack raises his eyebrows as he considers you for a moment. ‘Only if you promise not to spit food on me again,’ he winks, holding out his arm for you.

‘You’re not taking me to a fucking ball or something are you?’ You laugh, eyeing up his suit as you take his arm.

‘This is what people wear on dates, isn’t it?’ He grins down at you. ‘Besides, you’re one to talk.’

‘This is nothing, you look like you’re attending an audition for the next James Bond movie!’ You giggle, nudging him playfully in the ribs with your elbow.

‘How do you know they didn’t model James Bond on me?’ He jokes, nodding to the waiter in the doorway who directs you to a candle-lit table in the corner.

‘Yeah you wish,’ you snort, taking your seat opposite Jack and reaching for the menu.

‘To be completely honest with you, I wouldn’t know what to wear on a date,’ he says suddenly seriously, picking up the menu in front of him.

‘What do you mean?’ 

Jack shoots you a furtive glance and you’re surprised to see a small blush growing on his cheeks as he looks down, flicking absentmindedly through the menu.

‘Well… I’ve never actually been on a date before,’ he mutters quietly, the humour gone from his voice. He looks up at you from beneath his eyelashes, watching your reaction.

‘Oh… that’s nothing to be ashamed of,’ you say nonchalantly. ‘I’ve never been on a date either.’ 

‘Really?’ He perks up, lowering the menu to stare at you. ‘How come?’

‘I don’t know… I’ve just never met anyone I fancied,’ you admit uncomfortably, your words reminding you of Daryl’s revelation last night. ‘What about you?’

‘Same here I guess,’ he shrugs, his smile returning to his face. ‘Have you ever kissed a guy?’

Your face suddenly burns, the memory of Rick’s lips on yours only hours ago suddenly swimming to the front of your mind. Jack’s eyes narrow as he senses your embarrassment, but fortunately you’re saved by the waiter coming to take your order. 

The rest of the evening passes in laughter and easy conversation. You find yourself feeling inexplicably comfortable around Jack; his easy wit compliments your tendency to sway towards to sarcasm in social situations you usually find uncomfortable, which tends to put people off. But in this case it seems to do the opposite. You can sense that he might be into you, but there’s nothing like the electricity you’d felt with Rick. You feel horrible for thinking it, but you just can’t seem to picture yourself kissing Jack the way you’d kissed Rick. 

As though he’d read your mind, Jack brings the conversation back to dating just as you finish your pizzas so you have no way to stall your responses. Pushing his plate away from him, he surveys you across the table. The humour is still in his voice but his eyes are serious.

‘You never answered my question…’ he starts, watching you carefully. ‘_Have _you ever been kissed?’ 

You take a long sip of your drink and place it slowly on the table, taking as much time as you could before answering with an awkward chuckle. 

‘Well if you’d asked me that yesterday I would have to say no, I’ve never been kissed before.’

‘So you mean you kissed someone… _today_?’ Jack asks incredulously, his composure breaking.

‘I was going to tell you but, you know… this being a date, I didn’t know how to bring it up…’ you mutter, the blush creeping further up your cheeks in shame.

‘Hey it’s cool,’ he says with a casual wave of his hand. ‘I mean… we only just met, right? I didn’t really mean this to be like a _date _date, just a… getting to know you over some dinner kind of… friend-date.’

‘Oh… right,’ you mumble, glancing up at him and trying to read him. He looks back at you with that same half-amused, half-exasperated expression as he’d given you when you’d spat food onto his face this morning. ‘I just thought, because you’re in a suit and you talked about doing this again…’

‘Nah, you’re reading too much into it!’ He says airly, although you feel like there’s something hiding behind his eyes as he looks at you with a kind smile. ‘I just wanted to make a good impression. I’m not so good at making friends and I feel surprisingly at-ease around you.’

‘Aw,’ you grin, a warmth spreading through you at his words. ‘Me too. I’m shit at getting along with most people. Always been an outsider.’

‘Sounds like we’re made for each other, huh?’ He winks, raising his glass to you before taking a long sip. ‘So who was it then? Tell me, I’m on the edge of my seat!’

You take a deep breath, shut your eyes and whisper. ‘It was Rick.’

‘Our _professor_?’ Jack cries. 

‘Shut up!’ You hiss, glancing anxiously around you.

‘Was _that _why he wanted to see you after class today?’ He whispers, leaning across the table towards you. 

‘No actually,’ you reply indignantly. ‘He wanted to offer me extra lessons because my schoolwork was so good. He said he mentors one student a year who “shows potential”…’ 

‘Yeah but you know what _that _means, don’t you?’ Jack utters with a mischievous grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You shake your head vigorously, the idea of it was ridiculous. ‘So how did it happen? Did you initiate it?’

‘No!’ You exclaim loudly and Jack shushes you with a frantic wave of his hands. ‘No, _he_ came onto _me_… well, sort of,’ you mutter, your face burning. 

Jack’s eyes widen and you let out a sigh before telling him everything that had happened once Rick had brought you into his office.

‘… and he wants me to see him after school tomorrow. What the fuck am I meant to do?’ You ask anxiously. 

He considers you for a moment, the hint of a struggle on his face as though he’s trying to make his mind up about something. But he senses your distress and looks at you with genuine concern in his eyes.

‘You don’t really have a choice but to go seeing as he’s your professor. He’ll only chase you down otherwise, unless you quit the class.’ 

You shake your head at that. 

‘Good, because I need my lecture buddy,’ he says with a wink. 

You return his smile then sigh, your face creasing with worry at the thought of what it could mean if you were to pursue this with Rick. Jack reaches across the table and takes your hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the back of it. 

‘You just have to be straight up with him. I don’t reckon he’s a bad guy, but you should be careful. Just… do what your heart wants. I know that’s a ridiculously stupid, cheesy thing to say and you’re probably going to think I’m either stoned or nuts… but I’m a firm believer in following the heart over the head sometimes. Life doesn’t always have to be so calculated, and you never know what might come of it.’

You meet his eyes and the warmth seems to build inside you. You’ve never met anyone who makes you feel so at home in your own skin. 

‘I don’t really know what to say… thank you. Seriously.’

Jack smiles widely, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Then something behind you draws his gaze as he looks past you out of the window onto the street. Pulling his hand back quickly, he turns his head away towards the restaurant and puts his hand up to shield his face from view.

‘What is it?’ You whisper, turning around to look out of the window.

‘Don’t look now!’ Jack utters under his breath, but he’s too late. 

Walking up the sidewalk towards the restaurant is Rick, except he’s not alone. You just catch a glimpse of a tall, dark-haired man with salt-and-pepper stubble, wearing a tight leather jacket and a red neck-scarf. As they near your window you whip your head back round so fast that it clicks painfully. 

Grunting in pain, you keep facing Jack and out of the corner of your eye watch Rick and the tall man walk past the window. You’re just about to let out a sigh of relief until they come to a stop just a few feet away from the restaurant. Rick’s back is turned to you and the dark-haired man turns to face him so that he is directly in your eye-line.

‘Quick, make it look like we’re having a funny conversation or something!’ You whisper to Jack. He glances surreptitiously over his shoulder then turns back to you, his hand covering his mouth in mock shock as he lets out a gasp. ‘Oh stop being so dramatic,’ you hiss sarcastically.

‘Seems as though your problem’s solved,’ he chuckles. ‘Looks like a proper lovers’ spat they’re having out there.’

‘Who d’you reckon it is?’ You murmur, taking a leaf out of Jack’s book and raising your hand to block your face from the man’s view in case Rick turns around and spots you. With a quick peek you see the tall stranger gesticulating angrily at Rick, who points aggressively at the man’s chest. 

As you get a better glimpse of the man’s face, you can’t help yourself from thinking how ridiculously attractive he is. He looks very different to Rick; his rugged features, strong stubbled jawline and slicked back black hair coupled with the tight leather jacket and jeans resting low down his waist give him a terrifying but powerful aspect. His expression is hard and foreboding, and you get the distinct impression that this was a man whom you did not want to cross. 

‘Oh shit, Rick’s coming this way. Pretend you said something funny!’ You say quickly as Rick turns his back on the stranger and starts to walk back towards the restaurant. 

‘Umm, I’m wearing a thong!’ Jack cries, drawing odd looks of the people sitting at the table next to you. 

‘What the fuck?!’ You crack up, dropping your face into your hands and shaking your head. 

‘It was the first thing I could think of!’ Jack laughs, throwing his hands up into the air indignantly.

‘What is _wrong _with you? Oh man…’ you chuckle, pretending to wipe away a tear. 

You look furtively out of the window, still laughing, and your eyes fall again upon the tall, dark-haired stranger. A quick glance over your shoulder tells you Rick is nowhere to be found. The stranger looks livid as he shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. He lights one up and rests against the wall Jack had sat on while he’d waited for you earlier. He takes a long drag and exhales, scanning around him. As his gaze turns towards the window you gasp and look hurriedly away, shifting slightly in your seat so all he’d see is the back of your head.

‘What’s happened?’ Jack whispers excitedly, looking out of the window towards the stranger. ‘Where’s Rick gone?’

‘No idea, looks like the other guy just broke up with him,’ you snicker, biting your lip as you turn to face Jack. You can see the stranger in your peripheral vision and he’s looking straight at you.

‘Guess he moves on fast — I think you might have caught his eye,’ Jack taunts, raising his eyebrows at you suggestively.

‘Fuck off,’ you retort, trying desperately to stop yourself from grinning. 

You lower your face and rest your cheek on the back of your hand to hide the blush creeping up your skin as you look up from beneath your eyelashes, your eyes meeting the stranger’s just long enough to confirm Jack’s words. He’s looking at you with heavy-lidded eyes and a slightly arrogant smirk tugging his lips into a half-smile as he runs the tip of his tongue along his lower lip, sending your heart racing. He stands with the thumb of his free hand hooked into his belt-loop, his hips thrust slightly forwards as he leans sideways against the wall with one leg crossed in front of the other. 

‘Aw Y/N, you’ve gone all red,’ Jack sniggers. You shoot him a dirty look and try to keep your gaze away from the tall stranger, but out of the corner of your eye you can see him watching you.

‘Are we done here?’ You say sternly, ignoring Jack’s teasing.

‘Sure,’ he chuckles, waving to the waiter who comes over with your check. 

You leave the restaurant sticking closely by Jack’s side, avoiding the man’s stare and making a point of taking Jack’s hand and entwining your fingers through his as you walk down the street away from him. You can feel his gaze burning a hole in your back.

‘So… mine or yours?’ Jack asks, looking at you with a mischievous grin. Your eyes widen in response and he laughs. 

‘Oh very funny,’ you snarl, rolling your eyes. ‘You’re my cover — I don’t want that guy following me home!’

‘Okay okay,’ he sighs. ‘But I expect at least a goodnight kiss if I’m taking you back to your dorm. It’s a long walk back to mine afterwards and it’s almost dark!’ 

‘No way in hell.’

‘Fine. But next time dinner’s on you,’ he winks, that infectious grin cracking your stern composure.

‘Alright,’ you sigh. ‘We have a deal.’


	7. Compliments and Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of your meeting with Rick, but you decide to see Daryl first, hoping to have the conversation interrupted by Merle's arrival. Complications arise and the day takes an unprecedented turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been SO long since I last posted! I had to take a break for personal reasons, but now in this outbreak I have nothing to do but write for you lovely readers. I hope you still want to see where the story goes! I'll be posting as often as I can :) :)

‘Well, this is me,’ you say, letting go of Jack’s hand and rummaging in your purse for your keys.

‘So, about that goodnight kiss…’ Jack says nervously. You look up to see him watching you sheepishly, and for the first time that evening you feel awkward. ‘I’m messing with you, Y/N,’ he laughs, shoving his hands into his pockets and grinning at your embarrassment. ‘You should see the look on your face!’

‘Oh shut up,’ you scowl, rolling your eyes. 

‘Never,’ Jack taunts, poking your foot with the toe of his shoes. 

‘Hey, these are my good shoes! Don’t get them all dirty!’ You cry, kicking him in the shin perhaps a little too hard.

‘Ouch, you bitch! What did I do to deserve that?’ He laughs, making a facade of hopping about and clutching his leg as though you’d just shot him. 

‘Baby,’ you mutter under your breath, at last locating your keys. Cursing, Jack hops behind you as you head towards the door. 

‘You’re not coming in!’ You cry indignantly, turning back to Jack after you unlock the door.

‘Aw come on, I want to hear more about your dirty little escapade with Rick,’ he sniggers. 

‘Fuck you.’

‘Nah, I’ll leave the fucking to our professor, seeing as you clearly have a thing for _older _men,’ Jack teases, flashing his white teeth in a sly smile. 

‘Don’t! It’s not funny, Jack,’ you say seriously. His grin finally falters and his eyes fill with concern. 

‘I’m sorry, that was too far,’ he says softly, stepping towards you and taking you gently by the shoulders, just like you did with Daryl earlier that evening.

‘It’s okay, I’m just… I’m quite… scared,’ you admit meekly, dropping your chin to your chest and rubbing your jaw. 

Jack takes your hand from your face and gives it a gentle squeeze. His warmth seems to course through your veins and wash away all of your anxiety. Your face breaks into a smile. 

‘Listen, the first thing you need to know is that Rick isn’t going to force you to do anything you don’t want. Obviously I don’t know him from Adam, but he isn’t stupid enough to land himself in jail. If he did anything to hurt you, he would lose everything. _And_ he’d have _me_ to answer to,’ Jack says sternly, eliciting a small a giggle from you. 

‘And Daryl,’ you murmur. 

‘Who’s Daryl?’ 

‘Oh… he’s my friend. Well, really he’s family, although we’re not related. He was my neighbour and he took me in when my parents died,’ you take a step back, relinquishing yourself from Jack. 

You never liked talking about your past with anyone, and it surprised you to hear yourself telling someone you’d only just met.

‘I’m… I’m so sorry, Y/N,’ Jack says in a small voice. You wave him away nonchalantly, not meeting his eyes.

‘It’s fine, it was a long time ago now,’ you sigh, before taking a deep breath and gathering yourself again. ‘Daryl is everything to me. I don’t know what I’d do without him to be honest. He said I shouldn’t get involved with Rick, said he’s too old and could… make life difficult for me because of the position he’s in. He’s always been very protective of me when it comes to guys,’ you finish with an awkward laugh.

‘Ah well, of course he worries about you. He sounds like an awesome guy,’ Jack smiles kindly. 

After a brief moment of silence, he hooks a finger under your chin and lifts your face up, locking you in his gaze. 

‘I think you should do whatever _you _feel is right. There’s no telling what will happen or how things will end. But what I _can _tell you is, you have people around you who care about you and want nothing more than for you to be happy. And I reckon you always will.’

You search Jack’s eyes for a moment and it strikes you how genuine and kind he has been to you, without even knowing you. He hadn’t been angry to hear that you had kissed another man just after agreeing to go out with him. He didn’t judge you as a pathetic schoolgirl crushing on the teacher. He really means what he says. You can’t believe how lucky you are to have made such a friend so soon, and so easily. 

‘You’re too good to be true, Jack,’ you beam. 

‘Oh, I’m a dream,’ he winks, his teasing grin back in place.

‘Yeah… sure you are…’ you reply sarcastically, turning to the door as Jack steps back towards the street. ‘Thank you for a fun evening. And for walking me back.’

‘Anytime, Y/N. See you,’ he waves cheerily as you step through the door. 

You turn to watch him retreating into the darkness, and smile when he starts whistling to himself as he walks away.

* * *

You don’t have any classes with Rick today, but he is the first thing you think of when you wake the next morning. Within seconds of getting up, your stomach is writhing and your palms are sweaty. You calculate that it’s exactly nine hours until you will be alone with Rick again. But what could happen when you are is something you can barely contemplate. 

As you’d never had the chance to talk to Daryl properly yesterday, you decide to pop round to his before going into college. Your only class for the day isn’t until this afternoon, and there’s no way you can just sit here with only fantasies and fears for company. You think about meeting up with Jack, but it occurs to you that you never got his number and you don’t know where he lives. Daryl is more urgent. Even if it means running into Merle, although hopefully he’s passed out drunk in a gutter somewhere.

It takes you an hour just to pick something to wear. If things go the way you hope tonight, you want to look exactly right. What that meant exactly, you weren’t entirely sure, since you had never been intimate with anyone before. You decide showering and shaving is a good start. You leave your hair down for once, letting it dry and curl naturally. 

After locating the only sexy panties you own - revealing black lace with a small bow on the front - you finally decide on what to wear. Short, denim shorts and a tight, white crop top. It’s a little more revealing than you’re used to but it gives you an odd sense of confidence you’d not felt before as you examine yourself in the mirror. And you figure it’s casual enough not to jump to any conclusions about what Rick might want with you, but sexy enough in case your fantasies come true.

By the time you’re approaching Daryl’s house, the sun has burst through the clouds to make the most glorious day. You delight in the warmth touching your skin and start to feel more confident and hopeful. This bliss is short-lived however, as when you arrive at Daryl’s it’s to find Merle leaning against the wall beside the door, carving an apple with a knife.

‘Why hello again, Lil’ Miss Twinkletoes,’ he drools, a salacious grin spreading across his unshaven face. 

It had always been his favourite nickname for you, and it makes your blood boil now just as much as it had when you’d first met him all those years ago. 

‘Where’s Daryl?’ You demand, stopping a good distance from him so as not to have to smell the alcohol on his breath. 

‘No “Hey Merle, how’s it goin’ Merle”… jus’ straight to my brother, huh?’ He goads, pushing himself lazily off the wall and taking a step towards you. ‘You always did like him.’

‘Of course I like him,’ I say sharply. ‘He takes care of me like I’m family.’

Merle lets out a low, derisive laugh, taking another step towards you. Twirling the point of his knife on the apple, he stares at you from beneath heavy-lidded eyes. 

‘He cares more ‘bout you than ‘e ever did me, sugar-tits,’ he replies, his gaze roaming over your tight top and exposed abdomen. You feel sick, but resist the urge to cross your arms across your chest. ‘Tha’s more ’n some family responsibility shit he’s feelin’ there, make no mistake.’

‘You don’t know anything. You only ever see him when you need him to get yourself out of some fucking mess you’ve landed yourself in,’ you spit. ‘And he’s always there for you, no matter what. He cares far more than you could ever fucking deserve.’

‘Woah now with the language, sweetheart! My brother let you talk to him with that filthy mouth?’ Merle says as he takes yet another step towards you, carving out a chunk of apple and throwing it into his mouth. The juice dribbles down his chin as a grin that makes your skin crawl paints over his face.

‘I’m not a kid anymore, Merle. Daryl treats me like his equal, not like some naughty schoolgirl,’ you retort, standing your ground as he steadily closes the gap between you. 

‘Mmm I bet he’d like a bit o’ naughty schoolgirl though, my brother,’ Merle taunts, chucking the rest of the apple over his shoulder and returning the knife to his belt.

‘What are talking about?’ You say a little too quickly. Merle smirks, close enough now for you to smell Daryl’s whisky.

‘Well,’ he drools, running the back of his finger down your cheek. ‘Who doesn’t like a naughty lil’ schoolgirl, hmm?’

You punch Merle square in the nose. He stumbles backwards, but it only takes a moment for him to recover from the surprise of your attack. 

‘You _bitch_!’ He yells, grabbing you by the hair and shoving his face so close to yours you can feel his spit landing on your skin. You yelp in fear but he doesn’t let go. ‘You been playin’ my brother like a fiddle these last few months and you tellin’ me you _care _about ‘im? You don’t know _nothin’_ girl. You’re nothin’ but a cheap, lil’ teenage _whore_!’

‘MERLE!’ Bellows a voice from behind you. ‘Let her go, you son-of-a-_bitch_!’ 

Daryl tackles his brother to the ground, taking a chunk of your hair with him. You howl in pain, clutching at your stinging scalp, but you quickly forget it at the sight of Daryl and Merle caught in a furious fist-fight. 

‘Stop! Stop it! Please!’ You scream, trying to pull Daryl off of his brother, who lay there laughing as his face gets punched over and over. ‘DARYL!’ 

You kick him in the ribs in a desperate attempt. He leaps up and you think he’s about to lunge for you, but he stops short, staring at you with a deranged expression. For the first time since you’ve known him, he scares you. He seems to sense it because he backs away, quickly wiping the blood from his face and hands. Merle gets painfully to his feet, still laughing.

‘What is it with you? Why you gone so _soft_?’ Merle taunts Daryl, spitting blood from his mouth. 

‘Leave it,’ Daryl hisses menacingly, making a start towards Merle again. 

Merle backs away with his hands in the air, shaking his head. Then he turns to you, leering at you with a lewd look in his eyes that makes your stomach turn. 

‘She told me herself, she ain’t a kid no more! Maybe she wants a fuckin’ _man_ to show ‘er what that’s like,’ he drools, thrusting towards me, licking his bloodied lips. You stumble backwards but Daryl is in front in a flash.

‘I said. _Leave it_,’ he growls, the anger in his voice sending chills through your body. Merle stops, eyes flicking between you and Daryl. 

‘You better man up, brother,’ he sneers. ‘Either you tell ‘er… or I’ll fuck ‘er myself.’ 

He turns away and stumbles down the street. Only when he disappears around the corner does Daryl turn to you. You realise how much of a state you’re in. Your hair is a tangled mess after Merle’s attack and you’re sweating and shaking with fear and adrenaline.

‘Y/N, I’m…’ Daryl starts, reaching instinctively for you but stopping himself when you automatically flinch, your instincts running on overdrive. 

‘It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault,’ you reassure him, but your voice is high and on edge, and your shaking is getting increasingly violent.

‘Com’ere,’ Daryl says softly, unable to stand the sight of you scared. 

He pulls you into a tight hug, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders. You bury your head in his chest and let the sobs rack over you. 

Your legs give way beneath you as you go into shock, but Daryl catches you. Lifting you effortlessly up into his arms, he carries you into the house and sets you gently down on the sofa. As he goes to pull away you grab ahold of his jacket, desperate to remain in the protection of his embrace while you cry, giving into the fear and shock until it runs its course. So Daryl hauls you onto his lap, gently stroking your hair and trailing light, soothing lines up and down your arm with his rough fingers.

‘I’m so sorry, Y/N,’ he whispers in your ear, before resting his cheek against your forehead and closing his eyes, tears beginning to sting behind his eyelids.


	8. Truth Will Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally learn what Daryl has been hiding from you. But what will it mean for your friendship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan is properly introduced to the reader in the next chapter - I promise! This one took a different turn to what I had originally planned so it ended up being a whole chapter by itself

After the shock subsides, you can’t help feeling intensely ashamed. Merle had always annoyed you, but something about the way he’d looked at you frightened you to the core. You hated feeling so vulnerable, but Daryl was the one person you’d never had to hide anything from.

‘How long is Merle gonna be staying here?’ You ask him, still cradled against his chest. He lets out a long sigh, gently stroking your hair. You feel so at home with him.

‘I dunno,’ he growls, his deep voice vibrating through his chest. ‘He’s in some pretty deep shit.’

‘So? Why do you keep bailing him out?’ You say quietly, too tired for anger.

‘He’s my brother,’ Daryl says simply. ‘An’ I guess… I guess I’m still hopin’ he’ll change.’

‘He’ll never change,’ you mutter bitterly.

‘Maybe not, but he’s family. I _gotta_ take care o’ him,’ he replies gruffly. You bite your tongue, Merle’s words suddenly coming back to you.

‘What am I to you?’ You mutter. Daryl’s body immediately tenses. 

‘You’re family too,’ he answers. But his obvious discomfort leaves you unconvinced.

‘Is that all?’ Your voice is barely audible. ‘I thought maybe…’ 

‘You thought what?’ Daryl cuts in sharply, his tone tinged with a threatening edge. You pull away from him, sitting yourself beside him on the couch and looking him directly in the eyes.

‘I thought there was something… more between us. At least… I thought you were hoping for something more,’ you say cautiously. 

Daryl would forgive you for almost anything, but this is unchartered territory. There is no way of predicting his response, so you watch him intensely, looking for any flickers of emotion that might cross his face and give him away.

‘What d’you mean?’ He asks warily, fidgeting uncomfortably as he turns on the couch to face you properly.

‘Do I have to spell it out?’ You sigh, mildly exasperated by his defensive nature. ‘You’ve become more… flirty with me these last few months. I’ve seen you giving me these looks sometimes… I didn’t think anything of it at first. I assumed I’d only ever be just a kid to you. But Merle said something earlier, and you… when you told me about that girl you couldn’t have, you looked at me different. And you got angry. You never get angry with me, Daryl.’

Daryl stares at you for a moment, searching your eyes. Then he lets out a deep, pained sigh, slumping back into the couch and rubbing his eyes with his hands as though overcome by a sudden migraine. 

‘You _are _a kid, Y/N. That’s the problem. I’m supposed to be responsible for you,’ Daryl groans, dropping his hands to his sides and looking at you with a torn expression on his face.

‘What if you weren’t responsible for me? If I was just some girl you knew?’ You ask tentatively, unsure what answer you’re looking for. What would it mean if everything suddenly changed between you?

‘I can’t answer that,’ he shakes his head, standing up and walking over to the kitchen table where he pours himself a glass of whisky.

‘Just answer me, Daryl!’ You shout, suddenly furious with him for continuing to evade you. He had always been open with you before.

‘No!’ Daryl yells, striding towards you until he’s nose-to-nose with you, aggressively in your face. He wears the same deranged look as when you’d kicked him in the ribs to try and stop him from beating his brother to death. But this time you don’t cower. You bite back.

‘_Why?!’ _You cry, balling your fists up at your sides. ‘Would you hate me, is that it? Do you only care for me out of a sense of duty to my dead parents? Because I _know _that isn’t true, Daryl! So tell me whatever it is you’re keeping for me!’

‘I can’t! If I do…’ his face suddenly softens, he gives you that sad, longing look. ‘We could never go back.’

You stare at him in silence, your eyes lost in each other’s gaze, desperately trying to figure out what the other is thinking. 

‘What if we didn’t have to go back?’ You say gently. 

You’re suddenly intensely aware of Daryl’s proximity to you, and for the first time you feel yourself drawn to him in a way you’d never experienced before. You have to wonder whether you had been subconsciously drawn to him for some time, because a longing in your chest awakens as you see his eyes flit down to your lips.

‘What if I screw up, Y/N? I can’t lose you,’ Daryl murmurs, gently cupping your face with his hands and leaning his forehead against yours. 

‘We’ve always been there for one another,’ you whisper, stroking a finger along the back of his hand. ‘Whatever happens… promise me that’ll never change.’

Daryl sighs, inching his face closer to yours. You can’t take your eyes off his lips as your heart skips into your throat, the longing in your chest growing into an ache.

‘I promise,’ he says in his low, soft growl, closing his eyes. ‘I’ll always look after you.’

He edges his body closer to you, lacing one hand through your hair and tracing the rough pad of his thumb along your bottom lip. Your breath catches in your throat as he hovers his parted lips hesitantly over yours, a crease between his eyes as though he’s still fighting his temptation. The ache in your chest swells and you meet his lips softly. 

A fire ignites in your veins at the touch. Daryl exhales heavily, pushing deeper into the kiss and gripping your face and hair like he never wants to let go. You tentatively reach for his face, stroking your hand lightly across his stubbled cheek. He melts into you, his hands moving down to your waist and pulling you closer into his body. They feel their way up your back while yours travel across his muscled chest down to his abdomen. 

Daryl slides his tongue into your mouth, letting out a low moan as he tastes you and stoking the fire inside you. Desire overpowering your senses, you hook a finger into the waistband of his pants and tug his hips in to meet yours. His bulge rubbing against your core, you moan, moving your hand slowly down to palm over his crotch. 

Daryl reacts instantly, pulling hard away from you and leaving you breathless, empty as cold air rushes over you. 

‘I’m sorry… we— I can’t…’ Daryl pants, backing quickly away from you, gripping his hair with his fists.

‘What’s… what’s wrong?’ You breathe, the ache in your chest turning into something different as you watch Daryl pace up and down in front of you, the struggle etched across every inch of his face.

‘I’m not good for you, Y/N,’ he says in a strained voice, unable to meet your eyes. ‘I shouldn’t be doin’ this, I’m meant to be lookin’ after you. If I give in… I’m bein’ selfish. I’m thinkin’ of what _I_ want, an’ not what’s good for _you._’

‘Please don’t do this Daryl,’ you whisper, stepping towards him. Hurt and dread bubble inside you like acid. He backs away from your approach, his hands out in front of him to stop you getting close. ‘Don’t hurt me like this.’

‘I don’t wanna hurt you, Y/N,’ Daryl’s voice cracks slightly. ‘I never wanna hurt you.’ 

‘Then _don’t_.’

He looks up, finally meeting your terrified gaze. His eyes are shining with tears, his face twisted in pain. 

‘You need to find someone better than me, darlin’. I… I can’t be selfish with you.’ 

And without another word, he marches from the room. By the time your senses have caught up with you, he’s already out of the door.

‘No. Daryl, please!’ You cry, sprinting after him as you hear the sound of a motorbike roar to life. ‘DARYL!’ 

You belt out of the door to see him driving his motorbike out of the garage and down the drive. 

‘Daryl, wait! YOU PROMISED ME!’ You scream, tearing down the road after him, but he disappears around the corner. You drop to your knees, pain stabbing you in the chest like Merle’s knife carving into that apple. ‘You promised…’


	9. Negan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have your first class with Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry I've been AWOL. Got sick with this virus. I hope you're all keeping safe! And I hope you haven't given up on this story yet, there is sooo much excitement to come :) :) :)
> 
> P.S. I'm on Wattpad too now! I'll be posting the same fanfics as on here (don't worry, I'll still keep uploading to here!). There's also an original story I'm writing, please check it out if you're curious! :) https://www.wattpad.com/user/LouiseMarieReeves

Once again you’re late to class, but this time you couldn’t care less. The image of Daryl’s torn expression when he’d walked out on you without so much as a goodbye seemed to be burned into your brain for good. 

You’re glad that Jack isn’t in this class with you. For starters, you’d hate for him to see you in your gym shorts, knowing he would only make fun of you. Secondly, you really need this time to vent some of your anger and hurt without having to put on a face for anyone. Because it was an extra-curricular class, you’re not worried about making a good impression on any of the other students taking it. As far as you know, you are the only one from your course taking gym.

You change in daze, barely aware of anything going on around you. The other girls avoid you, which you’re used to from high school so it doesn’t bother you. You know that as soon as you’re out on the field you’ll spring into action and show everyone else up anyway. You vaguely wonder what sport you’re going to be doing today as you make you’re way into the sports hall.

‘Alrigh’ ladies ’n gents,’ calls a deep, gravelly voice from the middle of the hall. ‘Five laps of the hall to warm up!’ 

Your jaw drops to the floor. _It’s him_. _The guy from last night. _His hair is tousled rather than slicked back, and in place of the leather jacket is a plain white t-shirt which clings tightly to his broad shoulders and toned chest. A pair of gym shorts fit him a little too well, your eyes drawing automatically to the bulge of his crotch.

You quickly take your hair down, letting it fall loosely around your face in the desperate hope that he does not recognise you from the restaurant. So much for venting your anger in gym - you would have to keep your head down today until you could go to the registrar tomorrow and drop the class. 

Negan’s head turns towards you. You sprint into a run, catching up with a pair of chatty girls and hiding behind them. You think you see his eyes narrow suspiciously for a moment, but then he’s looking away. Breathing a sigh of relief, you run slower than you would under normal circumstances, desperate not to draw attention to yourself by overtaking everyone else.

The rest of the hour passes like a hundred years. Negan had announced that the first half of the semester would be focused on baseball. He’d disappeared into a store cupboard and swaggered out with a bat balancing on his shoulder, and you couldn’t help thinking how well it suited him, weird as that seemed. 

Baseball was your favourite sport and by far the one you were best at. But when it had come to your turn to bat, you deliberately did so badly that you didn’t have to bat for more than one round. Negan had shown no signs that he’d recognised you from the restaurant, so you were contemplating keeping the class; it was nice to be out on the field. That was until everyone started filtering into the changing rooms at the end of the hour. 

‘You there,’ Negan barked in an commanding voice that both intimidated you and sent a warmth between your legs. ‘Come here a sec.’

You stop in your tracks, somehow knowing the order was meant for you. Turning slowly on the spot, you see you were right. He saunters over to you, bat swinging casually by his side, a smirk forming beneath his salt-and-pepper beard. He comes to a halt in front of you, thrusting his hips forwards slightly as he points the bat to your chest.

‘Do I know you?’ He says in a deep voice as smooth as honey. 

‘Umm I d-don’t think so, sir,’ you stammer, wincing at the audible nervousness in your voice. Negan raises an eyebrow and, after a moment, lowers the bat, his tongue flitting out to wet his lower lip.

‘You got a twin? Or are you jus’ a really bad liar?’ A shit-eating grin paints across his face as he watches the blush burn its way up your cheeks. 

You drop your eyes to the floor and shake your head. You hadn’t felt this shy around someone since you were a kid, and you couldn’t help feeling ashamed. You’d deliberately done badly at something you loved - an act you would never even dream of doing - just to avoid getting Negan’s attention. _What the hell’s happening to me? _you think to yourself.

‘Hey now, don’t be shy!’ Negan coos playfully, taking a step towards you. 

You instinctively shuffle backwards, keeping your eyes fixed on the floor. You catch yourself fiddling awkwardly with your hands - something else you used to do before you’d grown into yourself - and let them drop to your sides. Words seem to have completely escaped you.

‘I’m sorry,’ Negan says quietly, his tone suddenly different. 

You glance up at him from beneath your eyelashes and are surprised to see him rubbing his jaw awkwardly, watching you from the corner of his eye as though you were forbidden and _he _was the one feeling shy.

‘It’s fine,’ you blurt out, confused at his change in character. Suddenly you feel the strange need to come to his aid. ‘I… I saw you outside that pizza place last night. You were with Rick? Sorry, I mean… P-professor Grimes…’ 

You blush for a whole new reason now and Negan’s eyes narrow for a second. But then he’s grinning smugly again.

‘I fuckin’ knew it,’ he chuckles. ‘Yours is a hard face to forget, darlin’.’

‘Err, what?’ You stutter, shaking your head confusedly. You hadn’t seen this one coming. 

‘Oh sorry. Is that… inappropriate?’ Negan asks seriously, raising his hands in mock surrender.

‘No umm, it’s fine,’ you mumble, kicking yourself that _it’s fine_ seems to be the only words you’re capable of producing right now. 

‘Hmm, okay then. I’m gonna take a gamble…’ Negan mutters to himself, stepping forwards until he’s close enough for the smell of cologne and tobacco to send your already muddled thoughts into a spiral. 

‘A g-gamble on w-what?’ You say timidly, your breath coming in short and fast at his proximity. 

Negan’s hazel eyes burn into yours and you feel like your heart has forgotten how to beat. The tip of his tongue traces over his lips and you can’t help your eyes from drawing to them. You find yourself inching closer to him, parting your lips subconsciously, unable to tear your gaze away from his mouth.

‘How would you like to try out for the baseball team this year?’ 

The bubble bursts.

‘What?’ 

‘Look, I know you were playing badly on purpose, honey,’ Negan grins, but the playfulness of his tone doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. ‘No one can hit a ball straight into the opponent’s hands that fuckin’ easily. You sent it to the other team’s best runner every time without fail. That was deliberate, and fuckin’ skilled if you ask me,’ he chuckles, impressed.

You can’t help but feel a small rush of pride at his words, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. But then you remember that you’d just been seconds away from kissing him, and shame rolls over you like a tidal wave. You suddenly feel angry, disappointed. You’d been so sure that he was coming onto you. How could you have misread the situation so badly? 

‘Sure,’ you mumble grumpily. Before he can reply, you turn on your heel, your hair flicking across Negan’s face and making him jerk backwards. Walking as fast as you can across the now-empty hall to the changing rooms, it takes every ounce of effort to resist the urge to flip him off as Negan calls after you.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow then! 4pm sharp, darlin’!’ 

You can hear the humour in his voice, and your anger bubbles over. Between whatever the hell that was, the nerves of what could happen with Rick this evening, Daryl’s betrayal, and your shame at wanting all three of them (or at least two of them - you hadn’t yet figured out how you felt about Daryl), you’d just about hit breaking point and you punch your locker door. The pain in your knuckles helps to focus your mind a little, but it does nothing to stop the tears from streaming down your face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking of making the next chapter Rick's POV and the following one after that Daryl's POV - thoughts? :)


	10. Well, this is a first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Rick in his office as you had arranged, and reality makes your fantasies seem dull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut smut smut - hope you enjoy! ;D

** _Rick’s POV_ **

‘Alright class, we’re done for the day,’ I call to the lecture theatre, rounding off a long and arduous seminar. 

Seniors were usually my favourite to teach, but today I’m distracted, and it seems one or two of my more perceptive students noticed. Whispers ran around for the entire hour, even more so when I didn’t call them out on it. 

‘Are you okay today, Professor?’ Comes an all-too-familiar voice that makes my stomach squirm uncomfortably. 

Looking up from the podium, I watch warily as Mindy wends her way through the chairs, hips swaying ridiculously in those stilettos she only ever seems to wear for my classes. She’s in her signature tiny skirt and tight blouse that plunges almost to her belly-button. Gulping uneasily, I busy myself with gathering up my notes and mumble my reply.

‘Just a headache, Mindy. Thanks for the concern though.’

‘Aw I’m sorry to here that sir,’ she purrs, leaning on the podium in front of me and unashamedly displaying her cleavage with a flirty smirk. 

I hastily look away, shoving my notes and books into my bag. A small smile accidentally draws across my face as I’m reminded of Y/N strewing her belongings across the floor in her haste to get away from me after I’d caught her checking me out in our first class. 

Unfortunately, Mindy misinterprets my smile as directed at her. In fact, she generally misinterpreted everything as directed at her. Including my discomfort at her none-too-inconspicuous advances, which she thought was down to nerves as a result of attraction, rather than as result of fear that someone might get the wrong idea and think I have a thing for her. Internally shuddering at the idea, I zip up my bag and politely motion for Mindy to leave as I head to the door, desperate to escape.

‘Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help, Professor?’ She smiles, fluttering her eyelashes and playing with her long blonde hair as her eyes travel pointedly up and down my body. I stiffen, my jaw clenching, wishing for nothing more than to be alone in my office waiting for Y/N. My stomach immediately fills with butterflies at the thought.

‘No thank you, Mindy,’ I reply curtly, holding the door open and waiting for her to leave. 

Twirling her hair in her manicured fingers and biting her lip, she saunters past me with a fake coy look on her face. I exhale in relief, just about to close the door behind us and lock up when suddenly she turns back and edges herself uncomfortably close to me. Looking up at me with sultry eyes, she traces one of her taloned fingernails down my chest. I freeze, desperately scanning the corridor behind her for anyone who might see. It’s mercifully empty.

‘Let me know if you change your mind,’ she whispers, slipping something into my jeans pocket with a wink before finally walking away, wiggling her hips.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, save me,’ I sigh exasperatedly, shuddering with disgust. 

I pull out the slip of paper she’d put in my pocket and unfold it to find her number, signed _Mindy ;) xx_. Scrunching it in my hand, I storm along the now-empty corridors and lock myself in my office.

‘I should report her,’ I mumble to myself, pacing up and down in front of the desk before collapsing onto the couch with my head in my hands. I know that I can’t. 

Mindy has a horrible reputation for flirting with the professors, and when they report her, she fabricates an awful lie about being seduced and encouraged to have sex in return for better grades. That’s exactly how the last two got fired, and I’ll be damned if I let her add me to the list.

Suddenly Y/N pops into my head and I wonder if I’m not making a huge mistake in trusting her not to be another Mindy. What did I know about her really? Not much other than that she was a fantastically bright pupil with a clear passion for my subject, a beautiful girl whose smile lights up a room, and someone who seems to give off this pure and genuine air. 

Her response to seeing my pain when she had noticed the picture of Lori and Carl was something I had never expected from anyone. Usually I kept my past well-hidden, and people just didn’t ask. But in front of her, I couldn’t seem to help myself. Something about her was special, although I couldn’t yet put my finger on what it was.

Glancing at my watch, I jump. She was due to be her in less than ten minutes! That’s if she will even show. I’ve spent the whole day wondering and praying that she will, nervous at the prospect of what might happen if she does. It’s been a long time since a girl made me nervous, and I would be lying if I said that that didn’t excite me even more. 

I drop the paper with Mindy’s number on my desk, thinking I might keep it as evidence in my favour just in case she decides to wag her tongue to people. Then I run to the small mirror hanging beside one of the bookshelves and check my reflection, feeling like a teenage boy before my very first date. I catch myself grinning and hastily straighten my face, deliberating for a moment before going to the drawer in my desk and retrieving my cologne. 

Just as I replace the cap on the bottle, I hear a timid knock on the door.

‘Come in!’ I call, my voice a little too frantic. Quickly dropping the cologne back into the drawer and slamming it shut, I manage to compose myself into something close to professional just as Y/N walks into my office.

‘Hi, Professor,’ she says quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor. 

‘Please, call me Rick,’ I smile, frozen to the spot as my gaze finds her short shorts and crop top. She didn’t look slutty like Mindy. She looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous. 

‘Yes, sir,’ she mutters, walking quickly to the chair in front of my desk and perching herself on the edge. Dropping her bag beside her, she crosses her legs and arms, foot tapping nervously on the floor.

‘Look, maybe we shouldn’t do this,’ I sigh, guilt rolling over me like a raincloud at the sight of her so nervous. Last time she had seemed so confident and I couldn’t help wondering what had changed. Perhaps she had simply come to her senses.

‘No, I want to,’ she says quickly, meeting my eyes. 

For a moment we just stare at each other, both too scared to make the first move. The worry that she might turn out be another Mindy was gnawing away at me and I couldn’t take it.

‘I just need to make sure…’ I begin, falling into my chair with my head in my hands again. Maybe I really am getting a headache. ‘… that you’re not going to tell anyone about this. I have this student… Mindy. She’s been flirting with me for four years now, trying everything she can to get my attention. She’s notorious for getting people fired even when nothing actually… you, know… happens.’

‘What?’ Y/N breathes. ‘You think I’d do something like that?’ 

My head snaps up, the hurt palpable in her voice. My heart sinks as I see her eyes well up with tears.

‘No!’ I cry, reaching my hands across the desk towards her without thinking. ‘No, of course not! I’m just scared, that’s all. I’ve… I’ve never done anything like this before.’

After a few moments she gives me a small, kind smile. The sort of smile that makes everyone who sees it unable to stop themselves from smiling back. Relief washes over me.

‘Me neither,’ she says quietly, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. ‘But I really want to. And I promise you can trust me. I wouldn’t ever do anything to get you in trouble… Rick.’ 

My heart skips at the sound of my name coming from her lips. I almost feel foolish for reacting like a lovesick teen, but at the moment I don’t care. All I can think of is how much I want her.

‘You wouldn’t tell anyone either, would you?’ She asks nervously.

‘This stays between us, Y/N. You have my word,’ I reassure her. 

Y/N reaches tentatively for my hands still outstretched on the desk. With a light finger she traces along the back of my wrist, raising goosebumps up my arms.

‘So… what now, Rick?’ She grins, watching me from beneath her eyelashes. 

Without a word, I take her hand and walk over to her, pulling her to her feet. Brushing my hands slowly up her arms to her face, I pull her towards me and gently meet her lips. She sighs, melting into me as she wraps her arms around my neck, entwining her fingers in my hair. Unable to hold back any longer, I moan, tracing my tongue along her delicious lips and grabbing her waist, tugging her body closer into mine. 

Her breathing gets quicker and heavier as the kiss grows more and more heated. Her hands roam down my chest to my abdomen, tugging desperately at my shirt. Knowing what she wants, I break away and pull it over my head, throwing it aside before ripping off her teasing crop top. Flushed and panting, Y/N removes her bra and throws herself back into my arms, sucking and biting my lips hungrily as her hands move next to my belt. 

‘Ohh,’ I moan huskily when she presses her palm over my crotch, my pants straining beneath her touch. ‘Don’t stop,’ I whisper against her lips, massaging her breast with one hand and squeezing her perfect ass with the other.

Her gropes and kisses grow even more desperate at my words, only fuelling my own desire as I sense how much I turn her on. Releasing me from my pants, she gasps, her face turning scarlet and her eyes widening. My ego hits the roof. 

‘Like what you see?’ I murmur in her ear, teasingly stroking my cock with one hand while pinching her nipples with the other, delighting in the way her body spasms at my touch. 

‘Fuck me,’ she pleads, meeting my eyes with almost alarming intensity. 

‘Is that what you want?’ I ask her seriously, concern filtering through the lust.

‘Y-yes,’ she stutters breathily, wrapping her delicate fingers around my cock and gently stroking it, eliciting a deep moan from me as I take her face in my hands and rest my forehead against hers.

‘Are you sure?’ I whisper. 

‘Completely,’ she breathes, frantically trying to undo the buttons on her shorts while she pumps my now-throbbing erection. I can already feel the tension beginning to build inside me so I pull her hand away and lead her to the couch.

‘Let me,’ I murmur against her lips, unbuttoning her shorts for her and slipping them down her long, silky legs. She kicks them away and throws her arms back around my neck. 

Kissing her passionately, I lift her up by her waist and lie her carefully down on the couch, her legs wrapping around my lower back and pulling me on top of her. For several blissful minutes that I could happily extend into hours, we explore one another’s bodies, kissing, licking, biting, stroking, scratching. Until eventually the need becomes too great to resist any longer.

‘Please Rick,’ she whimpers as I take the hard peaks of her breasts into my mouth and suck on them hungrily, loving the way her back arches and her hips buck. ‘Please fuck me!’ 

‘Anything you want, Y/N. I’m yours,’ I whisper, kissing my way down to her panties. 

Locking her gaze with mine, I bite the material between my teeth and slowly inch them all the way down her legs before kissing my way back up again, tantalisingly slowly, making sure I cover every inch of her glorious skin. She throws her head back into the couch, closing her eyes in apparent bliss. 

Her sighs and soft moans of my name make my dick twitch and it takes everything I have not to take her right there and then. But I want to savour this, every single moment of it, worried that it might be the only chance I get to be with her.

‘Please Rick…’ she begs, her fingernails digging into my shoulders as she tries to tug me up towards her. 

With a mischievous smirk, I capture her wrists and pin them to her stomach with one hand, tracing a finger teasingly close to her entrance with the other. She whimpers and groans, begging for me, making it harder and harder to resist her. 

‘Not yet, baby,’ I purr in a low voice. ‘There’s something I wanna do for you first.’

Before she has a moment to prepare, my mouth clamps down on her clit, sucking it hard and flicking my tongue across her sensitive bundle of nerves. She lets out a strangled cry, her back arching off of the couch, legs trembling around my body, eyes squeezing shut as she succumbs to her ecstasy. 

‘Oh fuck! Rick!’ She wails, her entire body tensing. When I sense she’s close, I pull away, grinning at the frustrated groan she makes at the loss. 

‘Are you ready?’ I breathe, crushing my lips over hers and positioning my aching cock against her dripping wet entrance. 

‘Yes! Oh fuck, yes! Please Rick!’ She moans, shaking hands gripping my face as she kisses me back with a passion that almost floors me.

‘Are you definitely sure you want this, Y/N?’ I check, reluctantly breaking the kiss and scanning her eyes for any signs of doubt. 

‘I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,’ she chuckles breathlessly. ‘Please, Rick. I need you.’

I beam at her, cupping her face with my hands as she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me close. Slowly and as gently as I can, I enter her. 

‘Ohhh fuck, Y/N. You’re so tight,’ I groan deeply. 

Her gasps in my ear, the way her fingers grip my hair, her lips against my neck… I want to pound into her hard and fast, but I force myself to take my time, allowing her to adjust to my size.

‘You feel so fucking good!’ She yells. I quickly clamp my hand over her mouth, anxious someone might hear us. The look in her eyes tells me she loves it, and suddenly I can’t hold back any more. 

I slowly start thrusting inside her, groaning as her fingernails scrape down my back and dig into my muscles. She clamps her legs around my hips, urging me in deeper. When I stop, she whimpers beneath my hand.

‘If you need to scream, bite into my neck,’ I whisper, brushing my lips against her cheek. She nods, eyes wide with just the right amount of fear to set my nerves on fire as I remove my hand from her mouth. 

‘Lets see how many times I can make you cum, Y/N,’ I moan into her ear, taking the soft flesh of her lobe gently between my teeth and delighting in the desperate sighs my words elicit from her. 

Then, lifting my head just enough to lock her in my gaze, I pound my rock-hard cock into her at a punishing speed. The sound of flesh smacking against flesh fills the room as I drive into her as hard and deep as I can. She muffles her screams against my neck as her first climax comes crashing down. 

‘Holy fuck, you feel amazing Y/N,’ I groan, kissing her passionately as she rides out her orgasm, her walls clamping and pulsing around my cock. 

With every ounce of effort I can muster, I resist my own climax and continue to fuck Y/N, alternating between fast and hard, and slow and gentle, drawing out this heaven for as long as I possibly can. When she reaches her second orgasm her eyes roll back into her head and I have to press my hand firmly over her mouth again as she cries my name over and over. I cannot believe this is happening, and I never want it to end. 

‘Rick… please…’ she whimpers, clutching me tightly and tugging my hand away from her mouth so she can speak. ‘I can’t… take it… anymore…’

‘You want me to stop?’ I ask suddenly serious, ceasing my motions.

‘No!’ She almost shouts. ‘It’s just… _too_ good…’

‘Good,’ is all I can manage as my cock throbs inside her. 

Gripping her back, I hoist Y/N up and sit back on the couch, straddling her on my lap. Grabbing her hips, I bounce her up and down on me, thrusting my hips at the same time in perfect rhythm. Our groans echo loudly around the office but in this moment I couldn’t care less who hears. 

‘Oh Rick! YES!’ She screams, tugging her hands through my hair and throwing her head back. ‘I’m gonna cum!’

‘Me too!’ I grunt, as with a last few hard and sharp thrusts I spill my release into her, her walls spasming around me, milking my cock for all its worth.

‘Fucking hell,’ I sigh breathlessly, my heart pounding against my ribcage. Y/N falls into me, burying her head in my neck and trying to catch her breath.

‘That was… amazing,’ she pants. 

I lift her face up to meet her eyes, beaming wider than I have in years at the happy look on her face. Planting a quick, soft kiss on her lips, I gently lift her off of me and retrieve my clothes strewn about the room. 

‘You look happy,’ she smiles at me, her beautiful face flushed and glowing. 

‘So do you,’ I grin back, pulling on my shirt and pants. 

‘Aw, can’t you stay naked forever?’ She pouts, making me chuckle. I wander over to her and lean down, cupping her face in my hands. 

‘I wish,’ I murmur, brushing my lips against hers and praying it could last forever. 


	11. Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reeling from your scene with Rick, you find Jack waiting for you back at your dorm and your friendship grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan isn't mentioned in this chapter, but he's far from out of the picture! There is sooo much to come - hope you enjoy, and thanks for the feedback! :) :) :)

** _Reader’s POV_ **

You feel lighter, stronger, brighter than you’ve ever done before as you leave Rick’s office, his phone number tucked in your pocket. You can still feel him on your body and an inexplicable warmth and confidence soars through you, like you could take on the world. Practically skipping through the empty corridors, you replay the whole scene in your mind and realise that it’s the first time all day that you hadn’t thought about Daryl. 

And then it hits you like a bucket of icy water dumped over your head. All the ecstasy Rick had given you is washed away by a sickening guilt and shame. You’d told Daryl you wouldn’t pursue anything with Rick after he’d got so protective of you at the idea. Despite the fact that Daryl had betrayed you by leaving after he’d promised he would always look after you, you felt as though _you_ had betrayed _him _by sleeping with Rick. But you couldn’t help thinking that Daryl’s confession of his feelings for you just didn’t feel real in your mind, when only a few minutes later he had left you behind with no goodbye, no explanation, and no telling whether he would ever come back.

Wondering whether this was your first experience of the so-called “walk-of-shame”, by the time you get back to your block you’re on the edge of tears.

‘There you are!’ Cries a familiar voice, snapping you out of your reverie as you climb up the steps. Waiting by the front door is Jack. His face swims in the porch-light, full of concern.

‘What are you doing here?’ You snap, wincing at the crack in your voice and hoping he wouldn’t noticed. You walk past Jack and reach for your keys.

‘Y/N, what’s wrong?’ He asks.

‘Nothing Jack. I’m fine,’ you lie. Jack grabs your wrist before you can open the door and turns you around to face him. His face grows pale as examines your expression. 

‘What did he do to you?’ He says in a hard voice, jaw clenched and nostrils flaring in anger.

‘I told you, nothing’s wrong, Jack! Just drop it already!’ You shout, wrenching yourself free from his grip and kicking the door open.

‘You’re a shit liar, Y/N. Either you tell me or I’ll ask him myself,’ he hisses, striding after you and following you up the four flights of stairs that lead to your dorm. 

‘There’s nothing to fucking tell, alright?’ You growl through gritted teeth, taking the steps two at a time to try and get away from him. But he keeps up easily, stepping between you and the door to your dorm.

‘Get out of the fucking way before I punch you,’ you spit, not meeting his eyes. 

You know Jack had done nothing to deserve this treatment and that he was only trying to look out for you. But right now you felt as though your head might explode as guilt and grief about Daryl crashed over you, made all the more vivid by the faint scent of Rick’s cologne still clinging to your body.

‘Calm your horses, Y/N,’ Jack says softly, putting a cautious hand on your shoulder and giving it a tentative squeeze. ‘I know we barely know each other, but you can trust me with anything. That’s a promise.’

‘I am so _sick_ of people’s fucking _promises!_’ You suddenly yell, throwing his arm off of you.

‘Okay okay!’ Jack says quickly, holding his hands up in surrender and stepping aside. 

Without looking at him, you wrench open the door and storm down the corridor to your room. Pausing just outside, you look back at Jack stood with one leg in the corridor and one out, watching you nervously. Another wave of guilt washes over you and you change your mind. Despite only having just met him, you couldn’t deny that Jack was your only friend here now that Daryl had gone. You couldn’t lose him as well.

‘Are you coming then or what?’ You call after him, your tone slightly softer than before. He grins sheepishly, running down the corridor after you.

‘Thought you’d never ask,’ he mutters with a small wink. 

‘Oh shut up,’ you retort, rolling your eyes heavily as you unlock the door to your room.

‘Wait, will your roommate be okay with this?’ Jack asks in a hushed voice.

‘I’ve got a single,’ you wink jokingly, opening the door and switching on the bedside light. 

‘Ohh you’re one of _those_,’ Jack chuckles, closing the door behind him and looking around your room. 

‘Hey, no judging. After my parents died I wasn’t really one for friends and sleepovers. I got used to having my own space,’ you say in a slightly flat voice - the tone you would always adopt whenever your past came up in conversation.

‘Makes sense,’ Jack shrugs. ‘I was always a bit of a loner too, to be honest. Unfortunately my roommate is a jock - they clearly didn’t read my preferences on my application,’ he laughs.

‘Ah man, that sucks,’ you say with a small chuckle, dropping onto the bed and kicking off your shoes. 

You inwardly thank him for not lingering on the dead parents bit. He’d sensed your discomfort with that particular topic when you’d told him about Daryl after the restaurant the other night. Great, now you’re thinking about Daryl again. 

‘Wow, what did you get this for?’ Jack asks, examining a large trophy on your desk, impressed.

‘Oh umm, just some physics competition in D.C.,’ you mumble distractedly, pulling your phone from your pocket and checking to see if Daryl had texted, only to find an empty screen. 

The slip of paper with Rick’s number burns a hole in your leg and suddenly you’re overwhelmed. You break out into noisy, shameless sobs, chucking your phone aside and burying your face in your hands. Jack sits himself silently beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

‘Take a deep breath, Y/N,’ he murmurs softly, rubbing your arm affectionately. After a few more shuddering sobs you do as he says, eventually calming yourself enough to talk. ‘Tell me what happened. I’m not about to judge you or anything, this is a safe space.’

‘Th-thank you Jack,’ you reply in a thick voice. ‘You’re a good friend.’

‘Oh I’m amazing. You don’t have to tell me,’ he smirks, poking you in the ribs with his free hand.

‘Har har,’ you mimic sarcastically, grinning nonetheless. It was impossible not to feel better with him here.

‘So?’ Jack prompts you after a moment. ‘I would like to get to sleep at _some _point tonight,’ he jokes.

‘Shut up,’ you chuckle, nudging him with your elbow. He feigns agony, falling back on your bed, clutching his side and wailing as though you’d just stabbed him.

‘Keep your fucking voice down, idiot!’ You hiss. ‘I have neighbours you know!’

‘Oh you noob, you already woke up the whole fucking street with your yelling earlier,’ Jack laughs, sitting up and looking at you with a grin that crinkles his eyes.

‘Noob? Seriously?’ You scoff.

‘Well you are a bit of a noob. Never been on a date, never kissed a guy, never fucked a guy… and the impression I get with how flustered you get around Rick, I’d say you never even had a _crush_ on a guy before,’ he teases, listing off with his fingers.

‘Hey now, you may… be right about that but,’ you pause for dramatic effect, a mischievous grin painting across your face. ‘None of those things are true anymore.’

Jack lets out a ridiculous gasp, smacking his hand over his mouth and staring at you with wide eyes.

‘Get over it, drama queen,’ you scowl, rolling your eyes again. ‘You already knew about the kiss _and _the crush. And _you _were my first date… sort of.’

‘Yeah yeah,’ he waves that off dismissively. ‘Spill the fucking beans already!’

‘Okay okay,’ you sigh, resigned. Taking a deep breath and staring down at your hands, you breathe your next words as quickly as possible, trying not to hear yourself saying them. ‘I had sex with Rick today.’ 

Unfortunately, your fierce blush only confirms it as the truth.

‘How was it?’ Jack asks, his tone suddenly serious. You look up at him to find him smiling kindly, but the warmth is not in his eyes. 

‘You don’t need to worry about me, Jack. Rick made absolutely sure it was what I wanted, and I really did want it. I wasn’t forced or coerced or… anything dodgy, okay?’ You try to reassure him, placing your hand on his arm. 

He looks down at it and his brow furrows for the briefest of moments before he meets your eyes again, his expression soft.

‘You promise he didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do?’ 

‘I promise,’ you nod, giving him a small, reassuring smile. 

‘So what were all the tears for, huh?’ Jack asks, placing his hand over yours and giving it a squeeze.

You bow your head, pulling away from him and wrapping your arms around your knees, hugging them against your chest. An emptiness steals over you.

‘Daryl,’ you murmur quietly, glancing up at Jack to watch his reaction, afraid of his judgement despite his reassurances. 

‘Ah. Being overprotective is he?’

‘No, it would seem it’s a bit more complicated than that now,’ you admit, swallowing the lump forming in your throat as the memory of Daryl’s face when he’d walked away from you resurfaces.

‘Oh shit,’ Jack whispers, this time dispensing with the dramatic act as he senses your pain. ‘What happened?’

With a great deal of effort, you recount to Jack everything from Merle’s attack to Daryl leaving.

‘… and he hasn’t been in contact since,’ you finish with a loud gulp, tears stinging your eyes again. Jack replaces his consoling arm around your shoulder.

‘It’s only been a day though, right?’ He says calmly. ‘I bet if you turn up at his place tomorrow, you’ll find him waiting for you, on his knees begging for your forgiveness,’ Jack smiles. You let out a watery laugh.

‘That’s not really his style,’ you chuckle softly. ‘But say I go and he’s there… what am I meant to say? Oh by the way, I was so hurt by you leaving that I needed to fuck my Professor to get you off my mind?’ You say, disgusted with yourself.

‘That’s not why you did it, is it?’ Jack asks warily.

‘No,’ you say quickly, wiping your eyes and unlocking your limbs so you can reach for a tissue. ‘I’m not sure why I did it to be honest.’

‘I know why,’ Jack says with another squeeze of your shoulder. ‘Because you’re a human being, and he is a hot guy practically throwing himself at your feet by the sound of it.’

‘That’s hardly a good fucking excuse,’ you laugh. ‘Sorry Daryl, I just couldn’t keep it in my pants. By the way, I kinda wanna fuck you too.’ 

‘Oh Y/N,’ Jack sighs. ‘You’re hopeless.’

‘I know,’ you laugh humourlessly, tears welling up again. 

‘Look, here’s how I see it,’ Jack says, pulling away from you so he can look you directly in the eye. ‘You crushed on Rick - understandable, c’mon. I’m straight and even I would have to think twice before saying no.’

You laugh, hanging on to Jack’s every word like it’s medicine. 

‘Then Daryl fessed up to having some deeply buried, taboo feelings for you that you never even thought were possible. But he kissed you and you felt something, right?’ 

‘Right,’ you nod.

‘But then he changed his mind, hurt your feelings, broke his promise and left you. So…’ Jack throws his arms up. ‘Why shouldn’t you go and enjoy being with Rick if that’s what you wanted?’ 

‘I guess when you put it that way… it doesn’t seem all that bad?’ You mumble sheepishly.

‘Nope. It seems like you are an emotional and passionate person with a big heart, but you’re too young and new at this to even be thinking of settling.’

‘Yeah, but isn’t that what you’re meant to do?’ You argue, wanting to believe Jack because it gets you off the hook, but feeling guilty for it all the same. ‘Fall in love with someone, and that’s it - you stroll off into the sunset together and live happily ever after?’

‘Only in the fairy tales and Jennifer Aniston chick-flicks,’ he guffaws, shaking his head with an exasperated sigh. 

‘Alright then, say you’re right about this and I’m _not _a first-rate whore,’ you persist. ‘What do I say to Daryl if he comes back? _When _he comes back?’ You correct yourself, trying to be hopeful that he would come back. After everything he had done for you, it seemed ridiculous to believe that he would just leave you forever. You feel bad for ever having thought it.

‘You tell him the truth,’ Jack says simply. ‘It’s the only way to sort it all out and move on.’

You gaze at him for a moment, his brown eyes kind and concerned and his smile warm. 

‘Yeah,’ you agree. ‘You’re right.’

‘As always,’ he winks. 

‘Fuck off and shrink that head of yours,’ you jab playfully, before pulling him in for a quick hug. ‘Thanks for this.’

‘Any time, Noob,’ he replies, hugging you back briefly before pulling away and standing up. ‘Now can I go home and get some sleep, or are you gonna start bawling on me again?’

You raise an eyebrow and then screw your face up in mock pain, managing to squeeze out some tears as you pretend to sob hysterically.

‘Alright, I’m fucking off now,’ Jack laughs, heading to the door. ‘See you in class tomorrow, Noob.’

‘See you,’ you chuckle, waving him out of the door with a grin that stays on your face until you eventually drift off to sleep. 

Jack was right about Rick - you had nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn’t like either of you intended to have anything close to a serious relationship. Now you felt sure that you would go to Daryl’s tomorrow and find him mending some beaten up old motorbike in his garage, moaning at you for stealing his beer. And with a bit of luck, Merle would be nowhere to be seen.


	12. Bump in the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You return to Daryl's, hoping to find him waiting for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short. I will post the next chapter by Friday! :)

When you wake up in the morning, it takes you a few minutes to remember the events of last night. Your cheeks burn and your lips curve into a huge smile when the memory of Rick swoops back. Then you heart warms at the thought of Jack’s kind words afterwards, your confidence peaking with your resolve to swing by Daryl’s workshop on your way to college, certain he would be there waiting for you.

Flicking through your wardrobe your face lights up as your eyes fall upon a floaty, lilac summer-dress. Daryl had bought it for you as a congratulations gift for getting accepted into college. You stifle a small giggle at the memory of his tomato-red face when he’d watched you unwrap it. You’d teased him for months afterwards, never having thought that _Daryl _of all people could have any taste in clothes. Not least in women’s clothes.

Slipping it on, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. The slightly terrifying prospect of admitting to Daryl that you’d slept with Rick niggles at the back of your mind. But it’s currently being squashed by the thought that, in just a few minutes, you would see Daryl again. After all, there was nothing he couldn’t forgive. You could work on figuring out how you were going to forgive _yourself _later on.

By the time your round the corner onto Daryl’s street, you’re practically skipping. It doesn’t even faze you to find his garage door locked shut. When you knock on the front door, your beam is too big to contain, even when at first he doesn’t answer. You knock again.

‘Daryl?’ You call, stepping around to peak through window into the living room. ‘Daryl, you there?’ You call again.

A flutter of doubt threatens its way into your head. You quell it quickly. Wandering around the side of the house and peering into each window, you keep calling him. But by the time you get back to the front of the house and hammer your fist on the door, you’re fighting to keep your voice from cracking.

There was no sign of him. No half-drunk coffee cup, no dirty plates, no jacket slung over the chair. No Daryl.

Gulping down the thinning air, you reach into your bag and pull out your phone. First you hit Daryl’s number. No answer. You hit it three more times until your breathing starts to make your head spin. Next you hit Jack’s. He answers on the second ring.

‘_What’s up?_’

‘He—he’s not here,’ you stammer, your breaths coming in quick and sharp.

_‘Y/N, take a deep breath,’_ Jack’s replies calmly.

You can hear rustling in the background. Hurried footsteps, then a door slamming. Doing as he says, you begin to pace up and down Daryl’s drive, running your hands through your hair.

‘What do I do?’ You cry, your voice sounding shrill and distant as panic threatens to overwhelm you.

‘_It’s alright, Y/N. Calm down. Are you absolutely sure he isn’t there?_’ More hurried footsteps and another door slamming. The sound of a car’s engine roaring past and shoes hitting concrete.

‘Yes, I… I ch-checked e-everywhere.’ Your head swims and the ground feels like jelly beneath your feet.

‘_Y/N, are you okay? You sound like you’re hyperventilating_,’ Jack’s worried tone drifts through to your fogging brain, his breath slightly uneven as though he were running.

‘I— I think I’m… h-having a… p-panic at-t-tack,’ you stutter breathlessly, pacing faster and in tighter circles.

_‘Stay there. I’m coming,’_ Jack says before hanging up.

By the time Jack shows up, you’re perched on the edge of Daryl’s front step with your head in your hands tucked between your knees. You hadn’t had a panic attack in years. Not since your parents’ deaths. The idea that Daryl might really have abandoned you stirs up almost exactly the same reaction in you.

‘Okay, I’m here!’ Jack cries, panting and flushed.

‘He’s gone…’ you gasp, you breaths still too rapid, although slightly calmer than earlier. You were well-practiced at dealing with panic attacks.

Jack crouches down in front of you, gently tugging your chin up to face him.

‘It’s okay, Y/N. You’re not alone,’ he reassures you, holding his hands out for you to take. You place yours shakily into his and meet his big brown eyes. ‘Take a few deep breaths with me. Focus on my voice.’

Gradually Jack calms you until you’re able to talk. You wonder whether he’d done this before, because he was so naturally at-ease.

‘Now,’ Jack murmurs with a gentle smile, letting go of your hands and sitting himself down on the ground in front of you. ‘Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.’

‘He’s gone,’ you repeat flatly, that post-panic exhaustion slowly rolling its way towards you.

‘You don’t know that for sure,’ Jack says calmly. ‘He only left yesterday. Maybe he just… needs a few days.’

‘He would have told me. He’s not even answering my texts, or my calls,’ you mutter, tears stinging your eyes. You wipe them away impatiently, willing yourself to return to rationality.

‘I reckon he just needs some space to… figure shit out. The best thing you can do is allow him that. He’ll come back to you when he’s ready, and trying to force him when he isn’t will only make things worse.’

You nod, looking down at your hands and letting a couple of tears slip out. Jack was making sense, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. As if he had read your mind, Jack hops up. You glance up at him smiling sympathetically down at you, offering a hand. You take it tentatively, giving him a puzzled look as you stand up.

‘You need a day,’ he smirks, slinging your bag over his shoulder and hooking your hand under his arm.

‘What are you talking about?’ You mutter, confused as he leads you down the drive.

‘You need to take your mind off of it all. Let’s do something fun!’ Jack says excitedly. You can’t help the smile encroaching on your tear-streaked face.

‘We can’t!’ You cry with the tiniest of giggles as you hurry to keep up with Jack’s enthusiastic stride. ‘We’ve got class with Rick today!’

‘Exactly my point,’ he counters. ‘You need a day to yourself. I mean, shit! It’s the first week in and you’ve already turned college into a fucking soap opera!’

‘Okay, fine,’ you grumble begrudgingly, grinning all the same. ‘But nothing _too_ crazy… please?’

‘Oh lighten up. It’s the weekend tomorrow!’ Jack laughs. You glance up at him to see a mischievous twinkle in his crinkling eyes. ‘We can afford to go a _little _crazy.’


	13. Fool Me Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as everything starts to fall apart, Negan tips you over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the great feedback, I always love reading it! I hope you enjoy this next chapter (smutty smut to follow) :D

Your day with Jack had ended with the pair of you passed out drunk on your bed in a pile of Cheetos and chocolate wrappers (fully clothed, despite Jack’s humiliating attempts at trying to convince you to play strip poker with him). From there, things only seemed to get worse.

Rick had been ghosting you ever since your steamy encounter in his office. You’d texted him under Jack’s less-than-responsible supervision about half way through the second bottle of vodka. He never replied.

Several times you’d tried to corner him after class, but he somehow managed to slip away every time without fail. His office was always locked and seemingly deserted. Although one time you could have sworn you’d heard a small crashing sound and an uttered _fuck! _when you’d knocked on the door. Eventually you gave up.

You’d returned to Daryl’s at the weekend after your binge with Jack, foolishly hoping he would be there but knowing deep down that Jack was right. Daryl needed time, which generally meant more than just a couple of days. You’d left him a note taped to his front door, which was luckily sheltered from the rain by a small porch. You promised to return to his house every day on your way back from college, hoping that one day he would be there sitting on the steps waiting for you. And you did exactly that.

But after a while it got to the point that as soon as you saw the little yellow note from the corner of his street, you’d turn around and head straight home again, your stomach dropping a little further each time. You wondered how long it would be before it was dragging at your feet.

Jack’s friendship was all that was keeping your head above water. That, and baseball. Negan’s flirty little comments and constant innuendos only fuelled your anger with absolutely everything. You refused to rise to his teases after he’d made such a fool of you on your first meeting.

A part of you wondered whether he was doing it to make you play better, seeing your aggression spike and your focus sharpen after he’d walk behind you muttering something like _‘stick that ass out any further and I’ll make that bat in your hands look like a floppy fuckin’ twig’_. Or else he just liked to wind you up because he was a dick.

All in all, between Daryl’s continued disappearance and Rick’s childish avoidance, you were practically seeing red as you braced yourself for the next pitch, hands gripping the bat so hard your knuckles felt as though they might burst through the skin. Negan barked the command and the ball hurtled straight for you. You knocked it out of the park - quite literally. It soared off of the field and disappeared into the trees.

You could have crawled to the home plate and still had time for a nap half way, but your adrenaline peaked with your anger at the sight of Negan’s shit-eating grin as he watches you from the sidelines. So you sprint as fast as you can and smash the bat on the ground, your team erupting into cheers around you. You’d won them the game. Again.

In fact, you’d become quite the catch in this class - something you were not at all used to. But today you let them celebrate without you, feeling like you might either punch something or burst into tears.

Yanking the band out of your hair and ignoring your scalp’s protest as you accidentally free some strands from your head, you storm into the changing rooms, hitting the showers before the rest of the girls wander in, half of them sullen, the other half still cheering. Negan’s smug and annoyingly handsome face swims before your eyes no matter how hard you try to swat him away.

You’re just leaving the shower and reaching for your clothes when a sharp knock comes at the changing room door. You and the remaining semi-naked girls snap their heads up like a group of meerkats called to attention.

‘Y/N, if you’re still in there I’d like a word with you in my office,’ Negan’s deep, honey-smooth growl calls through the door.

The girls around you now turn their heads to you, stood frozen with one leg half-way through your shorts. Everyone gets dressed in a silence so tense you could cut it with a knife. Just as you’re shutting the door behind you, a chorus of whispers and giggles erupts, deepening the blush on your face.

_What could he possibly want? _You wonder, your mind racing at a dizzying speed as you knock on the door to Negan’s office. Footsteps stride towards it and a lock clicks. You force your face into an expression of cool indifference just in time for Negan to materialise on the other side.

A devilish grin plays at the corners of his lips, his eyes glinting mischievously at the sight of your wet hair sending droplets of water running down your neck. He steps to the side, silently gesturing with a wiggle of his fingers for you to come in. As you walk past him, you catch a quick glance at the snuggly-fitting jeans sitting low on his waist, the white shirt clinging tightly to his toned chest, all wrapped up like a sex-drenched gift in a black leather jacket.

‘Sit,’ he orders, strutting around to sit behind his desk.

A rush of warmth pools between your legs as you obey, perching yourself on the chair on the other side facing him. You mentally shake your head, banishing your body’s non-sensical reaction to one simple word.

‘So,’ Negan sighs with a grin, propping his feet up on the desk and leaning back into the chair, surveying you with his head slightly cocked back.

‘So…?’ You echo, raising an eyebrow with a bored look. His eyes infinitesimally narrow.

‘What d’you say to bein’ the captain of the college baseball team?’ Negan says unexpectedly, watching you carefully.

‘C-come again?’ You splutter, completely taken off guard by his proposal.

This was perhaps the last thing you had been expecting, even coming after a steamy make-out session followed by Negan declaring his insatiable attraction towards you.

‘Well you’d have to show up to the tryouts o’ course,’ Negan continues, leaning forwards to rest his arms on the desk and clasp his hands together.

‘But that’s jus’ a formality. Ain’t no competition where you’re concerned,’ he winks.

‘Umm…’ you start, completely lost for words, your mind reeling to catch up with the conversation.

‘Course, you could jus’ stick to this class. But I didn’t really take you for a pussy,’ Negan taunts in a low, seductively threatening growl, his eyes alight as they watch the affronted expression grow on your face.

‘I am _not_ a pussy,’ you hiss, gritting your teeth and glaring daggers at him, your hands balling into fists at your sides.

‘So am I to take that as a ‘yes’ then, darlin’?’ Negan purrs cockily, the tip of his tongue darting out to wet his lips in apparent enjoyment of your visibly rising anger.

You shoot up out of the chair, bearing down over him across the desk. All the anger that had been steadily building up inside you over the lasts few weeks seemed to finally burst through the crumbling dam.

‘I’ll be the best damn captain you’ve ever fucking _seen_,’ you spit.

Negan leans back into the chair, hands coming to rest lazily behind his head. His gaze travels pointedly over your body, lingering on your shaking hands, your heaving chest, your flushed face. A hunger fires up in his eyes and the warmth between your legs returns suddenly hotter than before.

‘I’ll believe it when I see it, doll,’ Negan murmurs huskily, that shit-eating grin etching across his stubbled face at the sight of your anger crescendoing to a peak at his smug, arrogant words.

‘Fuck you,’ you bite, hoisting up your bag and storming out of his office.

‘4 o’clock next Friday!’ He calls after you, not bothering to conceal his laughter.

‘You bet your ass I’ll fuckin’ be there, you smug dick!’ You yell, resisting the temptation to look back as you cross the gym hall and throw open the door to the outside.

Your vision is blurred in an inexplicable concoction of anger and arousal, your legs carrying you without your notice. When they eventually come to a stop, you drag yourself out of your rage to focus on your surroundings. The door in front of you reads _Professor Rick Grimes_.

‘HEY!’ You bark, hammering on the door so loudly it echoes through the empty corridors. It was long after school hours, but you had the feeling Rick was still in their. ‘HEY, OPEN UP YOU PRICK!’ 

A timid voice at the back of your head gasps at the words leaving your mouth, telling you you’re pushing it too far. But you ignore it, anger taking over your senses, the arousal Negan had caused refusing to diminish in the heat of your rage. Negan’s humiliation of you was the last straw that had broken the proverbial camel’s back, and now there was no telling what you might do.

‘I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!’ You roar, pounding the door until it flies open, almost taking you with it.

Once you’ve clambered to regain your balance, your stomach drops at the look on Rick’s face.


End file.
